light bulb change the christian way

[valleygirl]

CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY:

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air. Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.


Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy. Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb

[Rockabillie]

I love light bulb jokes!

I always heard this one too:

Fundamentalist: Zero. If the light blub goes out it's god's will.

[mayor]

LOL... thats why I am nondenominational. :-)

Here's another light bulb joke.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the light has to WANT to change!

[Rockabillie]

oh, I could go all day with lightbulb jokes!

How many Virginians?
20: 1 to change the bulb and 19 to talk about how much better the old one was.

[ShainaT]

Too funny!!

[telos2000]

How many wimmin does it take to change a light bulb?










None! That is what husbands are for!






edited:
Dang, this is no good anymore in light of today's marriage fiasco!
Oh, well just forget it!

[freesurfer]

LMBO @ Telos!!!!

[Pipanella]

[luvmetender]

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Answer: Four hundred and sixty-two:

Twelve to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb,

Twenty-three to deregulate the light bulb industry,

Sixteen to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D,

Thirty-four to cut the tax rate on light bulbs,

Fifty-three to design a blockgrant so the states can change the bulb,

Forty-one to talk with defense contractors about night-vision gear instead, and

two hundred and eighty-three to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs (or screwing anything) on the Internet.

[telos2000]

I don't get it?

[luvmetender]

Originally Posted by telos2000

I don't get it?

figures!

[telos2000]

Originally Posted by luvmetender

figures!

Whart duth thut mean?

[luvmetender]

Originally Posted by telos2000

Whart duth thut mean?

It means you don't get the sarcasm. Or probably you do and you just don't feel like admitting it. Whatever... you obviously are not interested in having a civil discourse with a <gasp!> democrat. You just like to promote discord amongst the parties.

[Nightowl69]

LMAO

[telos2000]

Originally Posted by luvmetender

It means you don't get the sarcasm. Or probably you do and you just don't feel like admitting it. Whatever... you obviously are not interested in having a civil discourse with a <gasp!> democrat. You just like to promote discord amongst the parties.

Now that is funny!

It is also ironic!