DNC and RNC Convention Agenda Schedules

[ShainaT]

> Democratic National Convention Schedule
> Boston, Massachusetts
>
> 6:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
> 6:05 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
> 6:15 PM - Secular Prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and
> Rev. Al Sharpton
> 6:30 PM - Antiwar Concert by Barbara Streisand
> 6:40 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
> 7:00 PM - Tribute to France
> 7:10 PM - Collect Offerings for al-Zawahri Defense
> Fund
> 7:25 PM - Tribute to Germany
> 7:45 PM - Antiwar Rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
> 8:25 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
> 8:30 PM - Terrorist Appeasement Workshop
> 9:00 PM - Roundtable Discussion of Taxes: "Calling
> for Higher Taxes on
> Others While You Pay None"
> 9:15 PM - Bill & Hillary Clinton Host a Seminar on
> "The Successful Selling
> of White House & Air Force One Mementos on eBay"
> 9:20 PM - Gay Marriage Ceremony (Both Male and
> Female Couples)
> 9:30 PM - * Intermission * Special Guest Soloist
> Jane Fonda
> 10:00 PM - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and
> Tim Robbins
> 10:10 PM - Reenactment of Kerry's Fake Medal Toss
> 10:20 PM - Howard Dean scream fest 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
> 10:30 PM - Seminar: "The Boy Scouts and Other
> Paramilitary threats to
> National Security"
> 10:40 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
> 10:45 PM - Abortion Demonstration (NARAL)
> 11:00 PM - Multiple Gay Marriage Ceremony
> (Threesomes, Mixed and Same-Sex)
> 11:15 PM - 'Maximizing Welfare' Workshop
> 11:30 PM - 'Free Saddam' Pep Rally
> 11:50 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
> 12:00 AM - Kerry-Edwards 2004 Sealed With A Kiss
> 12:01 AM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
> 12:02 AM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast

>
> Republican National Convention Schedule
> New York, NY
>
> 6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry
> Falwell
> 6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
> 6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
> amendment)
> 6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
> 6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military
> deferment
> 7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
> 7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
> 7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for
> dinner
> 8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
> 8:10 PM Call EMT's to revive Rush Limbaugh
> 8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after
> your children
> 8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights
> (MEN only)
> 8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of
> the future
> 9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat
> Man"
> 9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
> 9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of
> forest fires
> 9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
> 10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
> 10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
> 10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and
> talk macho
> 10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark
> deer-in-headlights stare
> 10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory
> Kevlar chastity belt
> 10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black
> Republicans
> 10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
> 10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our
> nation's economy
> 11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata
> 11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture:
> Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult
> 11:30 PM Call EMT's to revive Rush Limbaugh again
> 11:35 PM Blame Clinton
> 11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
> 11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
> 12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy
> Supreme Planetary Overlord

[luvmetender]

Funny stuff, ShainaT... thanks for the post!