A Presidential Speech That'd Be Fun to Hear

[bobbcat]

Here is the leaked text of the speech Mr. Bush was supposed to give in welcoming the former president…

THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. I appreciate you all coming. President Clinton and co-President Rodham Clinton, welcome home. (Applause.) All who live here are temporary residents; a thought which brought constant comfort to our nation during the years of your presidency. The portraits that are presented today will be held permanently in the White House collection, in order to protect the vast majority of children who will never walk through this hall. And so beginning today, the likenesses of President William Jefferson Clinton and First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton will take their place in a line that began with George and Martha Washington, and veered wildly off course in late 1992. (Applause.)

Laura and I are pleased to welcome members of the Clinton and Rodham family, the only group that we have invited to pass through the metal detectors on their way out of the White House.

It's good to see so many who served our nation so ably in the Clinton administration. We're still trying to find a supplier for all the "W" keys you pried off of our computer keyboards in January 2001. If you'll just mail them to us, I'll declare a general amnesty from prosecution.

As you might know, my father and I have decided to call each other by numbers. (Laughter.) He's 41, I'm 43. It's a great honor to -- it's a great pleasure to honor the man we used to call number 2, or words to that effect.

The years have done a lot to clarify the strengths of this man. As a candidate for any office, whether it be the state attorney general or the President, Bill Clinton showed incredible energy and great personal appeal and an insatiable lust for life and various bipedal lifeforms.

As chief executive, he showed a deep and far-ranging knowledge of public policy, a great compassion for people in need, and the forward-looking spirit that Americans like in a President. He could always see a better day ahead -- and Americans knew he was working hard to bring that day closer. Wait a minute…excuse me, but that part was supposed to be in my eulogy for President Reagan.

Over eight years, it was clear that Bill Clinton loved the job of the presidency. He filled this house with energy and joy, as well as discarded pizza boxes and interns. He's a man of enthusiasm and warmth, who could make a compelling case and effectively advance the causes that drew him to public service. But his most enduring legacy will be the gracious way he ushered in the era of Republican control of Congress and the White House.

People in Bill Clinton's life have always expected him to succeed -- and, more than that, they wanted him to succeed, especially his Chinese communist friends. And meeting those expectations took more than charm and intellect -- it took hard work and drive and optimism, and a considerable amount of premeditated dissembling.

He's the first man in his party since Franklin Roosevelt to win a second term in the White House, shattering a great American tradition of discarding Democrats while we still had a shred of hope for our future.

And I could tell you more of his story, but it's available in fine bookstores all over America in a book called "Losing Bin Laden: How Bill Clinton's Failures Unleashed Global Terror," by Richard Miniter.

Too bad Bush doesn't have the courage to say it.

[CagedTroll]

Interesting. Bush finally [Only registered and activated users can see links. Either login above or Register Now], in an articulate manner, and people who normally cringe or laugh out loud every time everytime he stumbles over simple words and phrases are actually impressed. Commending him even!

Then somebody sits down and composes this... Methinks this says something about Bush's leadership skills.

[bobbcat]

I don't see it that way at all. I think it is a good poke of fun at the Clintons.