"Stepford" Wives: Products of Feminism?

[bobbcat]

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Exerpts:

The Stepford Wives, which debuted in theaters this past weekend, portrays its title characters as programmed replacements for the wives of men who ostensibly desired only pleasure, obedience and servitude.

Men derive pleasure and purpose by serving their wives and children. Men are mentally and physically healthier and more functional and successful when they have their families to work for, to provide for and to protect. Men live for the affection and approval of their women. And men wither and die inside when their wives are dismissive, disdainful and rejecting.

Since the 1960s, women have been told that what they felt and believed were innate female desires were social constructs imposed on them by a destructive, uncaring and selfish patriarchal environment. Much of the feminist propaganda degraded what is lovely and special about being a woman and attacked the true desires of most women: to mate, raise a family and be happy.

Women today are so overwhelmed with trying to have a career and a marriage and children and extended family and neighbors and hobbies and. These homes have no real intimacy. This is true servitude. These women are the real Stepford Wives: trained to work until they drop, never truly able to enjoy their lives, never really available to embrace the wonder of motherhood and the deep satisfaction of a profoundly intimate relationship with their husbands.

I typically don't have much patience with Dr. Laura's incessant habit of proseletyzing, but this is a good piece well worth reading.

[freesurfer]

I tend to agree with the last paragraph. But it's also a matter of choice.

[doglover22]

I am not a fan of Dr. Laura and I do not agree with some of the points that she made in her article. However, as a woman, I feel that the femenist movement probably did more harm than good for our society.

[mayfly]

I was raised by a feminist. This is very interesting because I always thought that the feminist movement went too far, but I never thought if it was a bad thing from the beginning.

I think that we went from one extreme to another. From devaluing women, to now devaluing men. The belittling of men I see on TV, movies, and society makes me cringe. I have even hear it among women, chatting about their husbands in a group setting, rather than respecting and honor their spouse. Its almost a game to make fun of them. Its uncovering.

On the other hand, I don't believe that has anything to do with whether women should work or not. I think that is a mutual agreement between the husband and the wife, and no one elses business.

[prism68]

Originally Posted by doglover22

... as a woman, I feel that the femenist movement probably did more harm than good for our society.

I wholeheartedly agree. It was the best thing I ever did to get out of the rat race and come back home. Although I took great pride in my career and it was truly a calling, my FIRST calling is to my family.
My children have developed into such amazing young adults since I have been home. Had I stayed working outside the house, I feel I would have missed some of the most vital years of their lives. Although my son was a 9th grader and my daughter a 3rd grader when I came home, they responded incredibly to the transition (not having as much, etc.). My husband was at first hesitant, but after the first year was the one insisting we make it work.

I encourage anyone that feels they are watching their lives pass them by to give it a try. The material things we have lacked have been made up for tenfold by the family enrichment we have experienced. Although my son is 18 now, I always know where he is and he chooses to spend his 'date nights' at home. It is awesome to know that he and his girlfriend prefer being here at the house instead of roaming the streets doing God knows what.

I totally attribute that to our decision for me to leave the workplace.
Wow, I'm chatty today aren't I?

[ShainaT]

Thanks for the post and link.

I absolutely LOVE Dr. Laura. It is amazing to hear the folks that call her up after they have absolutely screwed up their lives almost beyond repair. Sometimes she does get kind of preachy but these folks call HER up on the phone...she doesn't go through the phonebook and pick random people to call and give advice to.

[JillyB71]

Originally Posted by mayfly

I think that we went from one extreme to another. From devaluing women, to now devaluing men. The belittling of men I see on TV, movies, and society makes me cringe. I have even hear it among women, chatting about their husbands in a group setting, rather than respecting and honor their spouse. Its almost a game to make fun of them. Its uncovering.

My Dh and DS and I are dismayed by the commercials that come on nowadays. We call them the "Men are Stupid" commercials because men are perceived as either idiot dolts who can't cook, clean or care for children or testosterone driven morons who can't control their need for speed, sex or beer. Or look at any sitcom lately, Ray Romano must be degraded by his wife or mother in order to be funny, George Lopez must be degraded by his wife or mother in order to be funny, [Insert name here] must be degraded by his wife or mother in order to be funny.

My husband actually gets berated for not talking bad about me! Guys at work make fun of him and tell him he's whipped because he never says anything negative. I find this beyond sad and disgusting.

And as far as staying at home, it was the best decision I have ever made in my life! My 13 yo son is a straight A student who is confident that he is number one in his parents' lives. He sticks up for me when family tries to put me down for not working or what they call "not contributing". He talks to us and wants to be around us. When I was his age, I spent all of my time in my room watching TV. The only TVs we have are in the living room and kitchen.

I never talked to my parents about anything going on in my life, mainly because it didn't seem like they cared. My father was always gone and my mother would work then come home and take a nap for an hour. I hated summer vacation because I wasn't allowed to leave the house. My brother got to because he was a boy and could take care of himself but I was stuck alone with nothing to do but watch tv or perform the endless tasks my mother left for me to do because she didn't have the time to do them after work.

People wonder why so many kids have ADHD nowadays. I agree that they are suffering from attention deficit disorder but it's from a lack of parental attention.

Sorry to go off topic and ramble. I'm off my soap box now.

[bobbcat]

You'd probably enjoy reading the following article:
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[ShainaT]

Interesting article Bobbcat: Like all else, the high cost of working mothers falls hardest on those who work out of necessity. Caitlin Flanagan concedes that she was both snotty and privileged when, from her comfortable perch at home, she judged harshly those who couldn't afford a life like hers.


I worked in corporate accounting for 10 years before I had my son. Then I resigned and now I stay home with him. It is a tough life and sometimes I miss working outside the home. I had a great job and the sky was the limit for me. Anyhow, one thing I've noticed is that many moms judge other moms. I don't like that at all. Everyone makes their own decisions and has to live with them. I was undecided about what to do when I was on maternity leave so I posted a thread here in GCC asking for comments. I got a TON of advice. Excellent advice. Allright, I've digressed long enough!

Back to the topic....

[monkee]

Originally Posted by JillyB71

My husband actually gets berated for not talking bad about me! Guys at work make fun of him and tell him he's whipped because he never says anything negative. I find this beyond sad and disgusting.

I agree, Jilly, it seems that men are just portrayed as complete dolts all the time with the women being the ones who are "pulling the strings"

My husband's friends are always asking him to go out to bars and hang out with them 99% of the time, he just doesn't want to go. Then we'll be talking to someone and they'll say "Oh, yeah, your wife never lets you out of the house!" This is soooo not true! I can't tell you how many times I would just love to have an evening all to myself, but you cannot convince these people that he makes these choices for himself. It's funny, though, most of the guys that give him a hard time about staying home are complete messes. They're all divorced, living in dumpy apartments full of empty beer cans, and driving beaters because they've spent all their money on beer. My husband just says, "Sorry, but I don't want to end up like them".