Please Help!

[daysky]

Hi Im April and I need some help,with a problem im having. My mom is my babysitter .She babysits my 14 month old daughter aprox 17 hrs a week and my 7 yr old son aprox 3 hrs a week (after he gets off the bus till i get home.) I only get paid $7.00 an hr and work aprox 16 hrs a week. I want to know what i should pay her an hr? She's complaining ,and Im not trying to give my whole check away to a babysitter -it would defeat the purpose of working. Someone please give me advice ,or a site to go to to calculate babysitter fees. Thanks April

[BALLETRINA2007]

Well have you asked your mom how much she is expecting? I'd say pay her a flat fee, like maybe $50 a week? I'm not sure if there is a website you can go to to calculate this type of thing. It's just something you and your mother will have to work out for yourselves. I'd hope she wouldn't be expecting too much, if she knows how little you are bringing in each week.

[lookin4delz]

I agree with Balletrina. Ask her what she is expecting-maybe call around to see what others are charging. Or you could do some trading to offset what you can't pay-does she need any help around her house etc? Just throwing out an idea I watch my friend's kids quite a bit and don't expect anything but sometimes she'll bring some fresh baked goodie or something to show her appreciation and that is nice. Keep us posted-hope it works out positively

[katlnhats]

Ouch,
That's a tough one. I agree w/the others - ask her what she expects and see if you can actually afford to do it. Sixteen hours @ $7.00 per hour isn't a lot of money but hopefully the two of you can come up with something. Daycare is very expensive. I wonder if with spring coming she could do a trade for some housework or yardwork? Just a thought....

Kat

[munchkin_momma]

i agree with the flat fee. i know someone who gets $30/wk for about 16 hrs a week, then again in daycare you be paying out closer to $100/week the whole allure of having gramma watch the kids is usually cause it doesn't cost anything, or it costs VERY little. So explain to her that you can't afford to pay her much, ask if she would take a flat fee and if she complaining because she has to feed the kids ect, try buying some groceries for them at her house so that your mom doesn't have to worry about that expense.

I've tried the "trade for house cleaning" and it ended very badley, I spent more time cleaning the house then they did babysitting and instead of them being my sitter, I ended up as thier housekeeper. It may work for you better then it did me. But I prefer not to trade work for work because someone is bound to get shafted or taken advantage of.

[5_guys_&_a_lady]

Why not use a point system, so for every hour she babysits she gets a point. Then you can do something she needs and she can redeem her points. EX:cooking, cleaning, gardening, shopping, ect. Then no one is out of money and everything is still fair.

[Floridamom]

I was in the same boat when my oldest daughter was born, I was paying my mother $50 a week, for only 3 days a week, plus I was supplying the diapers and formula. I told my mother I couldn't afford it after awhile because my hours got cut, she wouldn't budge on the price, so I found someone we knew who only charged $1/hour (yes, ONE dollar an hour), so I wound up only paying fifteen dollars a week to someone who wasn't even related to me. Especially when my mother had no expenses on her end, I was dropping my daughter off so it didn't cost her the gas, and like I said I supplied the formula and diapers. (This was also eleven years ago.)

I kind of like the barter system, but I also feel that the bond that can be created between grandparent and grandchild is priceless. How many people do you know who's grandparents or grandchildren live in another state and can't visit eachother very often. JMO

[amiah26]

hi April.
My ideas may not be helpful but i just had a thought. Is your 7 year old responsible? My son is very responsible and he has been latchkey since he was 7- Home alone after school. That is one thought, the second thought.... Have you ever applied at home depot? The starting pay there is higher than what you make and that way you could pay what she decides is fair. Not much help but I just thought I would offer. good luck hun,

[julie604]

That's a tough situation since you don't make enough to pay her the going rate. How about making a casserole and taking it over for the kids and her for lunch. That would help out so she would just have to re-heat it and she could eat it too. She could keep the leftovers for another meal. Just an idea to show your appreciation.

[amandaroyer2007]

Wow, I can't beleive a grandmother would even ask payment for spending time with her grandkids, but since she is tell her what you can afford and go from there. As for supplying meals...hmmm, I worked at a daycare and the daycare DID supply the meals...That is a given. How can you watch a child without feeding it whether you are paid or not? Is she complaining about the costs of feeding a 7 year old? Or what? I know this is a 3 month old post but I was curious. Sry. ~Amanda

[misothere]

Grandparents should spend time with thier grandkids, but shouldn't be expected to be babysitters regularly (unless they offer of course).

Everyone's situation is different from grandparents to parents financially & a "complaint" for money may actually be a "need" for it to feed the kids.

What worked "for me" is....I traded babysitting hours with a friend who had just 1 girl like me the same age........so for each of us parents it was just like a "play date" for the girls while one of us moms were at work. We didn't worry about the food & it was past the diaper & formula stage, but if one of us moms wanted to do something like bring the girls to a movie or rollerskating......then we paid each other for the price of our childs admission.

Hope things work out for you & what the heck ...try Home Depot if they're in your area to make more money.

[jcsaxx]

Some questions that I'm wondering are: how old are you? do you have an education? where is the father?

Also, I agree with several of these other comments. First, I'd look at your job and see if you can get a higher paying job. For instance, I was working in an office setting and got laid off, and then (months later) found a job that pays almost equal to what I was making but with about 15 hours less a week. Yes, 15 hours less weekly. This job pays between $15 and $17 hourly and isn't very hard. What job is it? School Bus Driver and I'm off when my kids are off. Women are very capable of doing this too. My office job only paid $10 an hour, which sounded like a lot at the time, but now it doesn't. Find a higher paying job, it CAN be done.

Your mother should WANT to spend time with the grandkids, but at the same time, she should be paid for her hours of service (but she shouldn't require this, you should only have to offer). Think of it this way, wouldn't you expect something for babysitting some else's kids??? I would, if it was 15 hours a week, every week. Or, at least I'd expect to have something offered to me.

Hope this helps. Best thing to do in my opinion, find a better job, better paying. You don't have to have a lot of education to make more money.