Pray that I am able to do this

[lyons221]

I know this is a strange question, but I need to know the answer because this is something I've never been able to do. How do you forgive, or at least let go of the anger when someone has harmed you? I know if I don't learn how to do so I'm going to be consumed, so I realy need some advice. Please pray that I am able to do so.

[Brendabutt]

I wish I could help you there, but I am the same way. Once you do me wrong I want nothing else to do with you. Have always been like that, and dh tells me that it hurts me more than the other person.

[strawberryisbest]

I feel sometimes there is no way to forgive, depending on what was done. If you love someone and you had a good relationship before then it might be better if you go to counseling to learn how to let go of negative feelings.

[Tracir]

Our preacher preached a sermon called "Forgive and Forget, Forget and Move On." It was wonderful and he said something about this that really made me think.

Forgiveness is important to your well being because anger will eat at you. He used the analogy that when you get a paper cut have you ever noticed how many times you will hit that cut over and over again? Being hurt and angry leaves us open to be continously hurt over and over again.

Here's the important part, Preacher said that forgetting after forgiveness is not the "inability to remember," but the conscience effort to put what this person did in the past and not think about it nor talk about it anymore.

I thought that was interesting. If you want the sermon- I can get tapes made. Or email me and I will explain further what he said.

[Tiggers Lady]

Well - I always try and forgive but I never forget. However, keeping that anger within you only makes your insides dark and I will never allow anyone to continually make me feel this way. I push it away - I don't allow those feelings to continue within myself, however, I do protect myself by distancing myself from whatever or whomever harmed me. That is my right.

So in answer to your question, again, depending on what the situation is, you can move on past the darkness and let it be their darkness if that is what they want - you cannot control them, but you can protect yourself and keep yourself healthy and clear minded. Gosh I hope this makes sense! Hang in there! Hope this helps.

[sandyl]

Forgiving somebody who hurt you is one of the hardest things to do. By remaining angry or bitter, we "protect" ourselves from further hurt. Giving up the right to be angry or bitter means we can't complain about it or get upset about it anymore.

Having said that, it will be such a relief when you do forgive that person! All that pent up anger or frustration will just wash away and you will feel a lot better. Forgiving them in your heart is the first step - just ask God for His help in doing that. I'm not sure if you were planning on telling the person that you forgive them, but don't be upset if they don't take it well. They may have some hard feelings of their own. But take the high road and forgive - you will feel so much better!

[Pipanella]

Someone passed a book on to me at a time in my life that I desperately needed it, and it is WONDERFUL:

Forgive and Forget by Lewis Smeades

It even has a chapter about forgiving yourself. THAT can be even harder than forgiving someone else.