Prayers appreciated

[billsmrs]

I feel kinda silly doing this but I know I will feel better if I just can talk to someone!! I am requesting that everyone here just pray that I can somehow prove to the court that my ex-husband is as irresponsible and selfish as they come. We have 2 children together (ages 2 and 6) and for the longest time he had nothing to do with them. (He left me for another women, younger..left me with no money and no intention to give me any) He even wanted to sign away his rights! At that time in my life I wasn't willing to allow that to happen. I felt like he needed to pay and fought him in court to make him pay child support, etc. Well, now a year and a half later I have remarried and my husband wants to adopt the children. My ex-husband refuses this and treats his kids as they are pawns in a game. He tells me everytime he calls that this is my punishment and that he isn't done with me yet. He never says he loves the kids and when he does come get them he takes them to pool halls, parking lots of bars, etc. , all places that young children shouldn't be. Anyway, he doesn't feed them right when he has them and doesn't bathe them or even pay attention to them. I know this because they come home hungry and dirty and they tell me! When I confront him he says he is going to do what he wants and I can't stop him. My ex-husband is not a very nice person. He drinks alot and smokes around the kids. My 2 year old has asthma and can't be around smoke per the doctor. However, he doesn't believe me!

My husband is the best person you could ever meet. He came into my life at a time when I needed someone to talk to and just be friends with. God knew what he was doing when he sent him to me and the kids. A friend at church set us up..just to be friends and it blossomed into more. We were married in Feb...one year to the date of meeting. It was fate. He loves these kids with all his heart and they even call him dad.

We have taken my ex-husband to court SEVERAL times and the court system still allows him to have joint custody of these precious kids and tells us that he has rights as the biological father. They say that he is entitled to his 'bad days' and as long as the kids aren't being harmed physically then there is nothing they can do. My attorney, I don't think, is aggressive enough. When I get more information on things that he has done or said he tells us that is not good enough for the court and dismisses it. I need all the prayers I can get. I know in my heart that I am right. I mean, come one, a man that walks out on his family for another woman and doesn't call or see the kids for 6 months can't be a good person! Know!? Why is the court so blind to this? Look at the things he is doing now. I am at my wits end. My husband and I both can't sleep when the kids are at their dad's because we never know where they are or what they are having to endure. It is ridiculous. I pray daily that God would give me some sign or information that would help me in court to get the kids away from him. No amount of money he is being made to pay me is worth the emotional pain or aggravation that the kids are having to go through.

I am also hoping to start my own business and I need all the prayers I can get there! It is difficult to get funding for this since my ex-husband trashed my credit. I want to do something that they kids can have for their future and I really think I can make a go of this. I want to open a consignment store for clothing. I also plan on putting the AVON products line in it. Thanks for listening to me ramble on!

My thoughts and prayers are with anyone that has to go through a divorce with children. I know first-hand how difficult it is and I also know that even though it gets finalized the pain never goes away as long as you have to deal with the other person.

[sandyl]

First, pray. Ask God specifically what it is you want.

Second, you may need a better lawyer. (It will probably cost you though...) Is there any way you can get some sort of court-appointed counselor to talk to your kids and get their side of the story? After all they know what their dad is doing with them and where he is taking them. Sometimes the testimony of the kids is used in court, but your kids are young so I don't know. But it sounds like your ex is real trouble and he should not be alone with your kids!

I will pray for your situation. Keep us posted!

Sandy

[billsmrs]

My attorney suggested a counselor also but he said the judge may not consider their testimony because of their age. Plus since I work for their pediatrician (the largest group of docs in this area) the judge may find that they would be biased. Although I know that isn't the case. Especially since I am considering quitting my job of 8 years there. The docs there wouldn't put their reputation up for me or anyone else. I already talked to them about it and they said they would just tell the truth and what they observe and have been told by the children. I tried to find a counselor that wasn't associated with the group I work for and the ones in town I did find weren't willing to go to court. They said they could help the kids cope but that was all. I am just in a bad situation. Everyone who knows me and my husband knows we are doing everything we canto make the kids life happy. We are active in our church, neither one of us smoke or drink, and we always include the kids in our plans. My husband even does things with the kids by himself when I am at work! The judge admitted that their step-dad is good to them but said that still doesn't give reason to cut their real dad out of the picture because he has rights! I just don't understand.

My husband and I both agree we could use a more aggressive attorney however cost is a problem. We already owe this one $900 from just the last month of work he had to do for us! And, by the way, nothing was accomplished! I have already spent a total of $5000 and have nothing to show for it other than a monthly bill from my attorney. It is painful to think that my ex-husband has us right where he wants us and there is nothing we can do. My husband consulted with another attorney and said that due to the lenghty time of this case we probably wouldn't find anyone to take it now. So, it seems we are stuck with this one.

[sweetcindy]

I will send up a prayer for you and your family, may God keep you.