someone please help me find peace

[kmmom702]

I'm 31 and my husband of 9 years passed away in July ....2 weeks after our daughter turned 3. He had surgery in 2001 and went into a coma for 2 1/2 months (I was 4 months pregnant at the time).He came out of the coma and we rehabilitated him ...he learned to walk again and sit up all day for the first time the day our daughter was born. We fought so hard to save him and although he still had open stomach wounds that were healing very slowly it never occured to me that he would die. I was always so positive and thankful that God gave him time to get to know our precious girl and now I feel so sad and alone. I can't stop crying thinking about the life that we were suppose to share and how my daughter will grow up without him. Just the other day she said "My Daddy died and I'm sad about it" It broke my heart....while I try to understand I can't help but feel this is so unfair...so many dads don't care about their kids and so many marriages are broken...why did this have to happen to us? Thanks for listening.
Ginny

[Shainie]

(((Ginny))) It is so unfair that this had to happen to you and your daughter. My heart breaks for you.

Do you have a strong famlily and friend support near you?

[kmmom702]

Yes I have lots of friends and family that want to help and am so grateful for all of them! I'm just having trouble accepting this. My heart is broken and my only strength comes from my little girl. I know the things I need to do but am just so sad.

[Pipanella]

Ginny, that's an awful lot for someone to deal with. I don't know how to help you to resolve the grief you're feeling, but I would think it's probably pretty normal, especially at this time of the year. This is the first Christmas you've had to spend without him, and while everyone around you is 'in the Christmas spirit,' it only serves to magnify your sadness.

I pray you can get through this holiday season and maybe things will start to get better with the new year. But no one can tell you when. Everyone is different.

(((((((((((((((Ginny))))))))))))))))

[dlabrie708]

((((Ginny)))) I am so sorry for your loss. It is unfair that your dh died and your dd will grow up without him. I don't know why these things happen either, but I do know that you will live through it and you will go on. I know that seems hard to believe right now, but you need to give yourself some time to mourne.

As raw as the pain is now, you will be able to function again as time goes by. Don't be afraid if you are crying all the time or if you always feel sad. You need to grieve and get it out. You should go to counselling. Maybe there is a grief support group in your area. You can check with churches in your area to see if there are any near you.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My brother lost his best friend last year. His friend was only 40 years old and had 2 boys -- a 5 year old and a 1 year old. His wife was only 34 years old. She found it very difficult to be such a young widow with small children. There wasn't anyone else around in her position that she could relate to.

Please get into some form of counselling. It will be helpful to get out all your feelings. This is a very hard time of year and I pray that God will be with you and your daughter and help heal your hearts.

(((Ginny & dd))))

Lori

[bestmidwest]

Ginny,

I can't even imagine how you feel right now but please know that I will be praying for you and your daughter so that you might have some peace in your lives. I know this sounds silly but your DD is a living reminder of the love you and your dear husband shared.

Being a widow is very lonely, especially when you are so young. I would highly suggest a support group...even an online one where you can share your frustrations.

Please know that you are loved!

Kristin

Holidays somehow bring feelings of loss to the surface. Communication with others is a great way to feel better, less alone. Fortunately you have a precious daughter and someone to share life with. Try to communicate with others and find a support group in your area. DOD is a great place with special people and we will always be able to share with you. Hugs!

[Debbie42]

OH Ginny I don't know what to say if you need to talk we are all hear to listen.

[eldo]

Originally Posted by kmmom702

Yes I have lots of friends and family that want to help and am so grateful for all of them! I'm just having trouble accepting this. My heart is broken and my only strength comes from my little girl. I know the things I need to do but am just so sad.

(((Ginny)))
If you haven't sought professional help (therapist, counselor, etc.), please consider going, not only for your sake but for your daughter's. Without going into details, but I was in a situation a few years ago and can completely relate to the symptoms of depression you're expressing. Therapy, in conjunction with the support and love of family and friends, helped me immensely. You will get through this.

[kmmom702]

thank you everyone for your kind words...it means alot to know people care.

[jenimadison]

I'm thinking of you and your little girl. I'm praying for peace to come to you. I know losses hurt and may never be fully understood. Please know you're in my heart, thoughts and prayers.

[dlabrie708]

Ginny, just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you. We hope you are doing okay.

Lori

[telos2000]

Ginny,

The best way to overcome such events in one's life is to talk about them. That release of emotions helps one start healing (though one will never heal completely from the loss of a loved--the memories are always there to remind us.) Reaching out is better than letting all those emotions and feelings stay bottled up within. Focus on the good things and try not to focus on the bad. I know that is easier said than done.

You and your family are in my prayers. May you have the peace that surpasses all understanding and may you be blessed even in your time of grief.

[john7angel]

Originally Posted by kmmom702

I'm 31 and my husband of 9 years passed away in July ....2 weeks after our daughter turned 3. He had surgery in 2001 and went into a coma for 2 1/2 months (I was 4 months pregnant at the time).He came out of the coma and we rehabilitated him ...he learned to walk again and sit up all day for the first time the day our daughter was born. We fought so hard to save him and although he still had open stomach wounds that were healing very slowly it never occured to me that he would die. I was always so positive and thankful that God gave him time to get to know our precious girl and now I feel so sad and alone. I can't stop crying thinking about the life that we were suppose to share and how my daughter will grow up without him. Just the other day she said "My Daddy died and I'm sad about it" It broke my heart....while I try to understand I can't help but feel this is so unfair...so many dads don't care about their kids and so many marriages are broken...why did this have to happen to us? Thanks for listening.
Ginny

I'm not sure if this will help or not, but i like to tell you where i found my peace. I'm a 34 year old man that suffers from schozophrenia and manic depression. I use to ask myself, why me! Why do i have to suffer so much, whats the reason of living and ect. I guess i have alot to deal with, but i believe you do as well. It took time but i learn to trust God. I learn to believe that when my sisters baby died at 2 God took him for a reason. I'm not perfect by no means, i just learned i can come and talk to him about my feelings and what i'm going threw. Have you ever tryed to talk to God and tell him how your feeling and what your going threw. smiling


John

[Brenda2000]

Oh Ginny...I'm so sorry...your loss is so devastating.
Everyone has already said many of the same things I was going to....my thoughts are with you....