"MOM'S SURVIVAL TIPS"

NaomiMarie · #1 (**permalink**) 06-10-2002, 10:45 PM

"MOM'S SURVIVAL TIPS"
Charlotte Johnstone in Family Circle

To my kids who have left home and are on their own, I pass on
a list of life lessons:

1. Don't sweat your every mistake or faux pas. They make up
for the things you got away with that nobody knows about.

2. Avoid marrying anyone who deliberately flushes the toilet when
you're taking a shower.

3. When someone tells you that what he's about to say is "for your
own good," expect the worst.

4. The value of a dog is its constant reminder of how much fun it
is to be idiotic.

5. If you are lavishly praised, enjoy the taste but don't swallow it
whole.

6. When a politician says, "let me make something perfectly clear,
remember that he usually won't.

7. You children may leave home, but their stuff will be in your attic
and basement forever.

8. If someone says, "I know what I mean, but I just can't put it into
words," he doesn't know what he means.

9. Two people cannot operate a TV remote control in the same
room at the same time.

10. Don't waste time trying to be your own best friend. You can't
pat yourself on the back, and it's unsatisfying to cry on your own
shoulder. Find a real friend instead.

wifey1227 · #2 (**permalink**) 06-10-2002, 11:03 PM

LMAO!!!

#1 is TOO TRUE!!!!

mama2calli · #3 (**permalink**) 06-10-2002, 11:18 PM

LOL, ours is #7 in reverse...my in-laws are such pack rats, they have so much stuff currently stashed in our garage, as well as 41 years of accumulation of STUFF in their own huge colonial house!

Kath