hubby is getting discouraged

[billsmrs]

Well, poor hubby is getting so discouraged over this whole adoption thing. It seems my ex is intentionally dragging his feet.....even though he was the one that started this whole thing! Hubby said he should have known that this would happen. No good comes from anything my ex says or does. I guess we thought this time would be different. Hubby called our attorney and she still hasn't heard from my ex. She said she called his attorney and told her once again to get on the ball. We have to get this signed so hubby can get his interview set up with the social worker. Our attorney said it wouldn't be wise to set it up until ex signs the papers. Otherwise we have wasted not only our time but the states. If we don' t get this done soon then it won't be final until after my daughter is in school. Hubby was hoping it would be done before then so she wouldn't have to confuse her teacher. Oh, well. Now we are playing a waiting game. I wish ex would hurry up and sign if he is going to. Otherwise he needs to tell us something soon. I have never seen hubby this sad. I can't have any more children and this is the way that he was actually going to have some that he could really call his own by giving them his name.

[3tbear]

Sure hope you get the kids. Why is your ex being such a miserable person? If he doesn't care about the children he should let someone who does, you in this case, have them. It's so cut and dry. I know you wish this were over, I agree with you. Too much stress, too much waiting. Poor you and your poor hubby!

[jsalba]

Good luck to you.

Keep in mind (hate to rain on your parade or to sound like an arskhole) but you HAVE children.. you will get them in time to love again.

Some don't have children and can't.

Count your blessings.. get off your rump.. and stop pouting dammit.

[luvmetender]

billsmrs.... I think you need to exercise some patience here.... this is a HUGE step for a parent to take and he probably is asking opinions of everyone he knows. These things don't happen overnight. ( I know, I was in a 3 year custody battle.) Giving up parental rights is a major thing. The more you push, the more he is going to dig his heels in.

[freesurfer]

Ok this calls for some DOD reinforcement.........

[LocaChica]

Originally posted by luvmetender
... These things don't happen overnight. ( I know, I was in a 3 year custody battle.) Giving up parental rights is a major thing. The more you push, the more he is going to dig his heels in.

Wise words, luvme.


good luck, billsmrs.

[kat]

I couldn't agree more, Luv. This is probably one of the biggest decisions your ex will have to make, billsmrs. Give him some time to make it so that he doesn't decide to change his mind AFTER he signs the papers.

The school will allow you to use your husband's name on your daughter's records - most will have a place for "name known by" and "legal name" so that the teachers won't be confused by a name change. Just ask if it's not on the form when you go to enroll her later on this year.

Good luck & hang in there. You and your hubby are going to need to practice patience for the time being!

[texas_sweetie]

I wish you both the best of luck in this. I feel for your husband, I too am a step-parent with know children of my own. We will probably never have any together, he can't . Anyway I've raised my stepdaughter for 9 yrs, she has always wanted me to adopt her but no way was her mother going for that. But I would lay down and die for this child whom I call my daughter. She is nineteen and and fixin to have her own child. I feel like she is mine and I feel eve more connected to my future grandbaby. I learned a very valuable lesson this weekend when my daughters real mother came to visit. Jamie (DD) told her she could be in her life as a friend but never a mother because she has a MOM her name is Cheryl ( that's me ) . These children realize who is there for them and who has loved and cared for them , So if your ex never signs the papers because in the end it doesn't matter if they share your last name or even blood , our "children " know who raised them and they know who there "real" parents are. Your children know your husband loves them very much and what he has done for them . I'm pulling for ya'll that ever thing turns out the way you would like. Your husband must be a very special man , I know alot of stepdads who wouldn't even think about doing this kind of thing.