Questions from George Carlin...................

[bassmount]

Just got this in my Email. I have seen some of these before. Just though this was funny and wanted to share.


1. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

2. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

3. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

4. Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?

5. Why is abbreviated such a long word?

6. Why is a boxing ring square?

7. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

8. Why is it that doctors call what they do practice?

9. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

10. Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on
Start?

11. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an
address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

12. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour and
dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

13. Why is the man who invests all your money called a
broker?

14. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

15. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called
rush hour?

16. Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your
feet?

17. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

18. If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become
kitty litter?

19. If you take an Asian person and spin him around several
times does he become disoriented?

20. Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

21. What do people in China call their good plates?

22. What do you call a male ladybug?

23. What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald
man?

24. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

25. Why do they call it a pair of pants, but only 1 bra?

26. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

27. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

28. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

29. Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?

30. Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead
of parachutes?

31. Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is
prohibited?

32. Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

33. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?

34. If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?

35. You know that indestructible black box that is used on
airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

36. If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime,
what does a freedom fighter fight?

37. If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby
oil?

38. If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?

39. If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your
headlights on, what happens?

40. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?

41. Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called
shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's
called cargo?

42. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

43. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

44. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?

45. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

[fiveforall]

Funny! My DH loves Carlin and is always quoting him.

[buckeyemomma]

Thanks for sharing

[kat]

I love George Carlin - his sarcastic comments & wit never fail to make me laugh!

[freesurfer]

We saw George In August in Las Vegas!! What a hoot!!!!

[beffie]

Loved these, George Carlin is a riot!

[scooter22]

Carlin rocks!!! I wish I could see him live, I'd be rollin!!!!