About that Positive Pregnancy test....

[mayfly]

Some of you may remember a post I wrote a few weeks back about pregnancy tests and false positives, and weird periods. Now the post said Ladies ONLY, so I am Sure none of the guys remember it .

Anyway I did end up taking another test, and yes, it was negative. But a weird conclusion did happen from that night, my husband has finally decided to go in for the "BIG V". The urologist is making him take off a week from work, because of the type of job he has. He has always been so against it, afraid. But seeing that little pink line did the trick for him.

I am glad he is getting it done, but the night he came home from his consultation I just cried. Its not that I want any more children. Its just that it seems like I waited my whole life to have babies, and its so strange that part of my life is over. A little unreal. But a big part of me has already moved on, even though I didn't notice I was changing. I guess I always expected that I would always yearn for a baby, and I am not quite sure how to cope with these feelings that "babies are nice, but not as cute as I once thought" or something like that, do you know what I mean?

My idenity is changing (GASP) Could be a good excuse for some serious chocolate.

[buckeyemomma]

(((((HUGS)))))

I do not lnow you, how old you are, how many children you have or anything. Therefore I would rather not try to give an opinion. Sorry. But I do know where you are coming from Good luck

[Jaxxie]

I totally understand. It is a big decison.

Get ice packs..LOL he will need them. Get the movies rented...so he can relax with his legs elevated. One night...and a day he will be fine. Is about 20 min proceedure.

It is hard to let go of that part of your life and move on. But when you realize that there is no more worry and you can just finally sit back and enjoy what you have, it becomes wonderfull. When your kids hit their 20's you realize that soon you will again hold babies and be a part of a little ones life as your own children start their own families. But the best part is waving goodbye to them, when they leave with their parents.

I have good friends who also had the big V done. a few months went by and they thought that only "blanks" would be produced. They did not get the final test to make sure. Well it was after his operation and well ooooops she was pregnant. Everyone thought she had cheated on him. He went and got tested and found out he was NOT shooting blanks yet. So yes you still have to be carefull for a while.

[mayfly]

Buckeye mama brought up a great point. Just so you all know I just turned 30, and have 4 wonderful kids. I feel like the richest woman alive.
2 boys
2 girls
and they are so sweet and special.


usually.

[Trace30]

Just make sure you're standing nearby if he needs to go to the bathroom. I still remember when my Dad had his done (I was about 6) - he passed out when he p**d for the first time after surgery. LOL..... That's the ONLY time my Dad EVER fainted.

[Ttulipss]

Well, it sounds like you're having mixed feelings....but it also sounds like you've got a full house over there, too! This is a big change for you and your husband....it's one thing to just say you're not going to have any more kids, and then it's another to do something permanent (okay, but reversible) about it. Just make 'doubly' sure this is what you both want before he goes in..... ((((BIG HUGS))))

[Mouse7088]

Mayfly..Oh yeah..I understand..I had a Tubal Ligation and I was 100% sure of this choice. I had three boys and about an hour after I had the third one I was being wheeled away to have this done..not like the best time to ask a woman if she's sure she wants to go thru w/ it..LOL! Any how, I am still at times sad over the whole decision. I mean, there is no longer a choice unless I wanted to have it all reversed. I know there are days I just get that "baby urge" and it's gone as quickly as it came..so maybe it has helped me when in doubt..LOL! My youngest is now 6 so I can't imagine starting "all over" again, but then there are times I wonder if I could be a better mother if I just had ONE more shot or maybe I would be worse because I am fairly use to the boys being at least semi-independant.

A friend of ours had the "V" also and he was a roofer. He had it done while they had an extended weekend and was back at work on Tuesday. I have done a lot of reading and having a vasectomy is much more safe than a Tubal, not to mention..if you have insurance, you pay just the co-pay as for a reg. Dr.'s office visit..a tubal is much more! A vasectomy is also a lot easier to recover from.

Jaxxie...NO KIDDING...yes Mayfly..don't take any "uninsured" risks until ALL of those follow ups have been done. I can't imagine the wife in that situation Jaxxie being accused of cheating..that's horrible. Some people aren't very bright if they think something like this is 100% eefective!

[freesurfer]

[color=purple][font=comic sans ms]Sex is SO much better though when you have nothing to worry about. Been there, done that, and my husband and I are happy we did. [color=purple][font=comic sans ms]

[color=blue][font=courier new]4 kids here too and love them to death but 4 is enough now adays.[color=blue][font=courier new]


Why doesn't this work in the enhanced mode?? It should say the colors. it should BE the color I wanted.

I'm trying to get this done right. Thanks Mouse still working on it.

[Mouse7088]

freesurfer..you needed to include the ending tags ( [/color][/font] etc..)

[hrdlife1]

it really is a simple procedure obviously if he can have it done on the ship LOL...all it took was one phone call with me going hmmmmmm ya know i got pregnant with sissy right after you got outta boot camp i guarantee you i get pregnant when you get back from this 6-month cruise...LOL he made the appointment to have it done the next day!
they did give him a little trouble about it being that he is only 25 (well actually he was 24 at the time) but he explained to them that we have 2 wonderful beautiful children and that's all we need, it's hard enough to raise them and we're always afraid that we won't have enough for them....
when chris first went in the navy, we had rough times, we used to not get paid hardly anything, many many days of eating nothing but noodles and butter cuz that's all we could afford, so we get a little freaked when it comes to that, never want to have to do that ever again, thank goodness gavin doesn't remember those days, i'd set the noodles or eggs (thanks to WIC we at least had eggs cereal cheese and milk) in front of gavin and he would just cry and cry because he had to eat them AGAIN....
i was a little upset about it at first, went through the whole mixed feelings thing, i mean i still have many baby-bearing years left but i do think it was best for us...i couldn't imagine starting over with a tiny helpless baby again after being so used to gavin and skylar being sorta independant, gavin's in kindergarten and sissy goes to pre-school 3 days outta the week, i have to say that i do enjoy my time those mornings, i can study or go online etc...it is nice after so many years (especially after how difficult skylar was when she was a baby, she was very clingy and scared and she didn't cry she SCREAMED and would NOT let anyone else come near her but me, if i were to have another baby like that they'd have to lock me up in the padded room, don't get me wrong i love skylar with all my heart and soul, i was just unprepared for a difficult baby cuz gavin was ridiculously EASY)to actually have some time for me and not feel guilty about enjoying it....we had our children young, and still have our youth so i'm able to "have it all" i guess you could say, because i have my family and i'm goin back to school and can start a decent job while i'm still young lol, not to mention the fact that when we're 40, gavin will be 20 and skylar will be 18 and on their way to making their own adult life and chris and i will still be young and able to enjoy each other and our time together so at first yes, i went through the whole "hmmm well am i really done, do i really not want anymore?" dilemna, but now i'm glad to say that yes, i love my family just the way it is and i'm proud of my hubby for taking the precaution instead of me having to have a tubal, (and birth control was terrible for me makes me FAT) also, all i have to do is borrow one of the neighbor babies for a few hours if i get the baby urge and then i'm all set, cuz i can give 'em back to mommy lol

oh and someone mentioned *ahem* being intimate with hubby after the v, OH YEAH BABY, WOOOHOOOO, it's NEVER been this great LOLOLOLOLOL, now cuz we don't have to worry about me getting pregnant WHEW IT'S ON ROFL!!! amazing, i have to say

[mayfly]

Jaxxie, that is so sad that the first thought about the ladies pregnancy was adultery! OHHHHH

If I ended up P afterward the first word out of my dh's mouth would be at the urologist, all 4 letters of it.

[kat]

Even after all the tests come back as blanks, it's still not 100% effective after 5 years or so.

Hubby was snipped after our youngest son was born & the doctor could have knocked me over with a feather when he told me that last month. The test came back as inconclusive & he's already said that he'll be ready to go have a nasty little chat with the urologist if it does wind up being postive.

We're both too old for this again! And, if anyone dares to even suggest that I cheated, that would be the last word out of their mouth. I feel so sorry for your friend Jaxxie - some people really do sit on their heads!

[jimandaun]

Well, my dh said he was going to get snipped after our 2nd was born. She is now 2 1/2 and he still hasn't had it done. I would love to have another one and he knows that. So we are in disagreement over this. He still brings it up about once a month when I am late. I have endometriosus so I'm irregular and don't worry when I'm late. I was actually supposed to have a hysterectomy before our 2nd dd was born. I was so glad we were able to have her. So, I guess if you are sure then this is great. I'm not sure although dh says he is. My friend who has 3 said don't worry after the next one he'll be making that appointment fast...lol.

Andrea

[TeresaD90]

jimandaun: I know exactly what you mean. My husband and I decided no more children after our daughter who is very close to 2 1/2 also. At the time he was 46 and had no children of his own (he'd been told he couldn't)

I was 33, had a difficult pregnancy, and a terrible delivery (her shoulders got stuck until the doctor pulled her out with fingers under her arms). I love her dearly but not her linebacker shoulders.

He was supposed to get fixed right away, so I went on the depo shot to allow time for "blanks" to kick in. He's still not made an appointment, and I can't take the shot because of mood swings and weight.

He complains about condoms, but I tell him he can fix that anytime! We agreed he'd do it because there were less risks involved. I also admit that, for me, there is a big difference between saying, "I don't want anymore" and "I can't have anymore"

[mayfly]

There is a big difference between not wanting anymore, and can't have anymore. I am having a hard time with the difference, to be honest. But there is nothing out there for birth control for me, except condoms. I really don't like to do anything hormonal to my body, and nothing else has the reliability we want.


But when that test came up positive I was so much more upset than I thought I would be. Thoughts began flashing through my mind that I hadn't seriously considered before. Like my 2 sons are so close, such buddies,do everything for each other, I wondered how a third boy would fit into that. (I realize many people have 3 sons who are best buds, but everyones situation is different). Same with my girls, they are such good friends. I have 2 in each bedroom right now, things would get more crowded

And we are such a soccer family, this was the first year that we did soccer with out having to worry about diapers, naps, etc. We went hiking so much this summer, fishing, really had a totally new experience being baby free.

Last but most important, my dh really got his smile back. He is such a goofy guy, but has been kind of grumpy the last few YEARS. He has finally adjusted to knowing how to parent 4 kids. AND not feel overwhelmed. I am so thankful, I didn't even see that goofy part of him slipping away until he "came back". Does that make sense?

On the other hand..... I wish, really really wish there were some sort of fantastic birthcontrol we could use, rather than doing it permanent.