Confused

[tlspiegel -Closed]

Hi - need to vent here. People disappoint me... I don't get it. Been dating someone for a while, not much contact between dates, except an email here and there - nothing very personal or caring. Dates are more than super, so this is confusing to me. Very friendly dates. When approached, which I just did on the phone, I get the "Been so busy, doing this and that, getting ready for this and that (I'm improvising here) and maybe I'm not living up to your expectations. Hey, all I said was I was curious why you didn't have any interest in my life, what I'm doing, whether I'm OK or not and gee - I've been busy too. ladeedaladeeda, ad nauseum. My expectations are too high? Is it wrong for me to expect common niceties in a relationship. I sensed a strong mood swing. I suppose I have to move on and forget about him.

Second thing: Member of DOD contacted me to tell me they were moving to town, would like help re: a few things. I offered to help in any way I could. Fine. Gave out my phone number, etc, and a few weeks later was contacted to let me know they were going to be here beginning of this week. Again, I said... contact me... Yep, you guessed it. Not a word.

OK, I'm being too sensitive, and I've been stressy about a few things lately. However I see nothing wrong w/being nice.

[buckeyemomma]

It's their loss. I would welcome your help if you lived near me

(((HUGS)))

[LocaChica]

I'm sorry. I wish I could help, but I don't know what to say. Keep your head up and think positively! You'll soon find people who are as kind and considerate as you.

[freesurfer]

Sorry about your bad luck lately.

There's always a brighter tomorrow..????

((((((((;-})))))))))))))

[LISA1013]

No question about it ... THEIR LOSS

Kindness and Caring is a rare thing ~and you have it ~ dont let that go for anybody !!!!

[jsalba]

Altough I've personally never met you (my loss), I think you are a remarkable lady who SHOULD have high expectations.

As for the first person (dating).. his loss.

As for the DOD person.. give them a chance.. they probably got caught up in things with the move..

[Mouse7088]

Hmmmm...well I know how you are, I would hope. I mean, any time I've mentioned something a little off for myself, you're always one of the first ppl. here to send me a PM or what have ya to say "I'm here if ya need to talk."

So often I think the "nice people" are taken advantage of and I in no way think it's too much to ask for some of the niceties in return. BTW, I find it a little "off" for this fella of yours to be distant when you're in between dates. I can't blame you for asking about it, I know I would. It's definitely something to cause mixed signals.

Here's to you <clink> getting the niceties you deserve.

[jskarp]

You are very nice person and don't lower your expectations one ounce! Don't ever think there is anything wrong about being nice. The DOD person may be caught up in the move, etc. After we move I had trouble remembering in which box I packed my underwear...never mind where I put all my important phone numbers! LOL

And for the other situation...don't give up..there are other nice people out there.

[bassmount]

Toby, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I can't really speak about the DOD thing since we don't know all the details, but in a dateing relationship, I would expect more than the occational Email, at least to see if I were still living!

You are one of the nicest people on DOD that I "know". When I think of DOD, I have some people come right to mind. Some I have more contact with and "know" them more personally. Some have just impressed me highly . I don't "know" you, but you have "impressed" me and deserve the very best. I hate to say it, I don't know really how much you felt for this person, but I think he doesn't know what he is losing and he needs to go. Your requests are not that unreasonable. Good Luck!

{{{{ HUGS!}}}}

[tlspiegel -Closed]

WOOHOO - You guys should be given gold stars on your foreheads! lol Thanks for all the support. I knew the DOD'r was going to be caught up in moving, however they did ask me to help looking for housing. I'm fine about it. As for the dater... he's a done deal as far as I'm concerned. I will NOT make myself a doormat ever again. If there's one thing I learned in my life... don't try to force people to be there for you if they don't wannabe. And, it's obvious he isn't that interested. I don't need it. Hugs to all of you who responded and who read my post. I'm OK now. Participating in a neighborhood lawn sale and sold a lot of stuff this morning. Thank you again, all you great people. (I can feel the love!)