Anybody here ever struggle with low self-esteem?

[mayfly]

I have off and on for a few years. I did when I was smoking, and sometimes I do about "body image". My friend is a perfect size 4 who just had a tummy tuck, ughhh. My size is very normal, but its amazing how much that scale can influence if I have a good day or bad day!! On those bad days I just feel crappy about myself, even though I know that its in my head. Like anyone can see if you have gained or lost 2 lbs. Anyone else have outside circumstances do this to them?

[kells3]

I have always been overweight. In school I was always the funny one. It was better that they were laughing with me then at me I always thought. In high school I had a very low self-esteem. I didn't talk to boys too much because I always thought the would be embarassed to be seen talking to me. After I graduated from high school I did a complete turn around. I was still overweight but I decided I liked myself no matter what I looked like. From then on I talked to everyone and am a very happy person.

[hmsram]

I would say that most days I have a low self esteem. But I also have days that I feel really great about myself.

[mayfly]

Yeah same here, lots of days I feel good about myself too. I think I am just realizing I need to be stronger in this area. I want to be a good role model for my girls!

[Debbie42]

I struggle with depression and with that sometimes comes low or sometimes even no self esteem. Thank God I have a wonderful and caring husband who when I really get into a bad funk understands and supports me. I am going to have to go back to the doc soon and get her to up my meds or change them because they are just not cutting it any more. I talked to a therapist once and after only a 30 minute session he told me all of my troubles came from my dh and ds. My son was only like 13 at the time needless to say I did not go back to see him. Any way I am one of those people who in a crowd kind of pulls into them selves thinking everyone else is always funnier and smarter and prettier. When I have my depression under control I don't even think about it I just go about my business and don't worry about what the other people in the crowd are thinking.

[Mouse7088]

Whew...boy do I ever have my share of lows. I don't know why really...my hubby is da'bomb when it comes to ego-boosting. Many years ago I was much worse and thanks partly because of Kenny, I am at least a bit better than I was. I have a younger sister and an older sister, I have ALWAYS thought of myself as the ugly duckling of the family.

[mayfly]

(((((((((((((Mouse, Kell3, Hmsram, Debbie))))))))))))))) I can see that I let what other people think of me affect me, and thats not good! Sometimes it can be so bad that getting slammed on an internet board can really affect me.

[Mouse7088]

Right backatcha Mayfly.
Ya know..I don't even think it's so much low self-esteem as it is a lack of confidence...if you can even separate the two. I mean...I know I'm not beauty queen material, but I also know I'm not a total mutt. I don't even like to put on a swimsuit...I see women all of the time wearing things I WISH I had the confidence to wear. I have this one shorts outfit that I wear, but only if Kenny is with me...he'll remind me to "stop fidgeting and you look good babe" the whole time..LOL! Ya know when you see a women wearing something that just doesn't quite compliment her "build"??? I'll say..."I wish I had just a smidgen of her confidence!!!" Kenny does the same thing as well. We've realized we have to stop saying things around the kids because we have noticed our youngest acting uncomfortable at times about his own physical features. NOT GOOD...definitely not something we want our kiddos to inherit from us.

[mayfly]

Yeah, I guess you are right. I was trying to identify what it meant to have a low self esteem, and you can tell I am a little confused in how I worded the first post. Some of you heard me talk about flying to NJ to meet some on line friends. The first thing she said was how surprised she was about my size- she said to hear me talk about myself she expected a woman who was stocky. I see woman who are bigger than me who have the greatest confidence about them, and you know what, I think they look GREAT! Looks have So much to do with confidence. I am not getting any younger, and I am getting to the point where I want to be happy with who I am regardless of a wrinkle I see, or if someone is mad at me.

[Juliannaluv]

I most certainly do!! I have issues with Social anxiety also...meaning I shut down when in a group of people I don't know. Much of this stems from the fact that I was told and treated, first by my father then by my husband, that I was good for nothing. After a while with repetition you begin to believe what it said to you. I have been working on this for quite some time now and it is very difficult to get over. It is funny, now, how since I left my husband he tells me how wonderful I am and that I am beautiful, etc......it's a bit late for that now!

I also struggle with my self image. I, so often, feel fat and I know that at a size 8-10 I am in no way fat. what I know to be true and what I believe are 2 different things, though. The man I am dating is wonderful and very supportive of me so that helps to make it better.

[whitequeen96]

Nah, but that's because I'm perfect! (lol!)

Actually, I a big woman and far from perfect. But I don't let that get to me anymore. I used to worry about it all the time (I had been a perfect model-type when I was younger, so I hated that I had changed.) But one day, I was doing my usual beating myself up about it, when I suddenly thought, "Now how would I feel about this if I were a guy?" Boy, that changed things! If I were a guy, my weight wouldn't bother me very much; I would realize that I am just so much more than that number. I'm a good daughter, good friend, good wife, mother, sister, citizen, etc. My weight is just one small part of who I am. And I like my face, hair, eyes, etc. enough ('cause they look like me!), and I know I'm lucky in so many ways. So now I just don't worry about it (except for health reasons). I know that it sometimes affects how others see me initially, but I just work harder to overcome any negative impression ("lazy," "undisciplined," "stupid," etc.) And if that doesn't work, the heck with them! I like myself, so I just move on to someone else who makes me happy.

I know this sounds nauseating and Pollyanna-ish, but try thinking of yourself as a guy and see if it works for you!

[Teah]

Not anymore. Up until I moved to Florida last year I really had low self esteem. I would get so depressed...I was actually on anti-depressants for many years and there was a whole year of my life I wouldn't even set foot out of the house. Once I got here to Florida though I got to start new, no one knew me and I could be anyone I wanted to be, So I just let what felt natural flow lol and people liked me for me, I didn't have to pretend anything...if asked to pinpoint what made things different for me here..I couldn't. But I am happy that it is different because I am happy with myself now and could care less what others think of me. It feels good after so many years of pretending to be happy and worrying what people were thinking or saying about me to now feel secure and happy!