MIL just moved out

Wow. I never thought I would take this as hard as I did. As much as I have been through with her. First things that BIL moved out were her jewelry boxes, then her minks, all the main things that were worth anything. He took most of her clothes. I will donate the rest to the goodwill. The worst thing about the move was that he asked me for his father's ashes so that he could bury them in the same urn. Thought that was a bit morbid as she isn't dead. He spent about 30 minutes here and I could tell he had an agenda. I cried for about 2 hours, but know that her moving will finally give me a life.

[Shainie]

I'm sure it is hard. Things like that are bittersweet. But I'm sure you know it's for the best. You're the queen of the house again. ((mbclark))

[hmsram]

I thought she was just going for a few months... Has he just taken her for good now ??? And to take all the valuables first

After being with her so long I am sure it is hard...But maybe this is best ...You have been through so much..The family should have helped you out way before now.
You are a wonderful person and you have done a wonderful job taking care of her...But now you need to take some time of your own, you have surely earned it...I will still continue to pray for you and your family , I think about your situation often.. .... TC of your self now o.k

[Mouse7088]

I thought she was just going for a few months... Has he just taken her for good now ???

I thought the same...or until she moved into a nursing "facility".

Wow...I bet this all does feel strange to you...even if it was for a few months.
Do you even remember how to be "queen of the house"???? Might have to practice

Yes, I am really missing her, but I know it is for the best. I am just worried that they won't take care of her. As bad as she had gotten, it would be much better for her to be here. My DH and I have Power of Attorney, and I have informed his sister that she can't put her in a home, etc. Everytime I hear a noise I get up thinking she is here. When his brother came and took all her things, including photos, etc. that showed me what they were trying to do. The last thing he had written on his list of things to take was his mom's medicine. I have no tolerance for people who abuse the elderly or children. Our family dog, Roger, is just beside himself. I think he knows she is gone and something is wrong. I will get over it, I know that privacy for DH and I is the best thing but I shall miss her, and worry.

[whitequeen96]

I'm so sorry. I guess I'm an insensitive pig (even though I'm not a man! Sorry, guys!), because I thought you would be jumping up and down with joy and relief. But I can see how it would be very hard to adjust to her absence, and to worry about her. She's kind of been your difficult child all this time. And no matter how difficult, when you invest so much into someone's care and well-being, you build a connection. She has been very lucky to have you all this time, but you really need your own life now!

Yes , thank you. That is just what DH just said. He said I have done so much for so long that he didn't know how I could stand it. We took care of his dad since 1990, he died in 1997, and his grandmother since 1994 and she died in 1996. I really am glad to have the house with only us. I actually slept for ten hours today, which is more that I have had in 15 years. I have got to be up and on TV tomorrow as my museum is going to be featured. I told DH I will be ready but as soon as the filming stops, I am going back to bed. Thank all of you for the support.

[Mouse7088]

Awwwww...the "little woman" is trying to get caught up on sleep. Ya know...on Saturdays and Sundays I absolutely go nuts if I sleep past 9...because it really IS sleeping in...but I know if I WANTED to sleep past 9 I could, you haven't been able to do that for YEARS! You deserve to...ohhhh and don't forget to go see a matinée movie and the bubble baths!! Personally I haven't went to a matinée alone since I was a teenager, but it has nothing to do with not being able to Just a choice..LOL!

Well I fell asleep on the couch today and DH had to wake me to go to bed. I planted the rest of my garden this morning and then read about emails from his sister, and guess what, she wants to send her back. DH said, no doing. It was her turn to take care of her mom. To quote my DH he said "Our mother is not a garment to return to a store, it is your turn to take care of her". As much as I miss her, it is really the only time I can remember in our lives we have been alone. I had two neighbors come over today to check on me, making sure I was better from my fall, etc. They were great to help me with all my worries about MIL being gone. One neighbor said that for over a year since we bought our home down here that she can only recall a single time I ever went anywhere, and she would be right. I went to a dinner one night with my neighbor and DH stayed at home. It has been so hard and I have had no privacy for so many years I don't know what to do. Thanks to DOD, I have a place to come and vent.

[Here2Earn]

Hi MB...j
Just reading and catching up on what is going on with you. I am happy for you but I know in a way you have a new misery factor and worry about what you can't see. I think everyone has said it all so well...take care of you right now. Recharge and re-energize yourself and take advantage of the time to get you back on top of the game. I'd bet you are needing some check ups with various docs, dentist and even just an afternoon movie matinee with a bag of popcorn. You sound like you are on the right track getting some rest though. Keep it up. One night you'll have the wide-awakes and be here posting about how you can't sleep!

My DH has been my sole caretaker since my foot surgery and I am a "good egg". I don't give him the treatment you got and he is still really stressed out bigtime juggling it all at work, home, bills, shopping etc. Yeah, there is a bucket of stones for your crown when you get to heaven even though you aren't expecting them.

I am glad you have the full support of your DH. It means the world. Best of luck in redefining your new life. Have fun!

Well, every night I get up around the same time I used to get up with MIL. Now DH said I am getting up a few hours later. Pretty soon I will have my sleep pattern back. Funny thing is I still watch those same old channels on TV she used to demand to watch. I was really lucky with my fall that I didn't break any teeth. The shoulder is healing up really well, but the foot is going to take a little longer. DH has forbidden me from going up the attic stairs again. He has been an angel to take care of me. The more I move around, the better I feel. We have also been blessed by the most beautiful weather here. Everything is in bloom. Looking at all the beautiful blooms and trees, etc. really cheers one up. Thank everyone for all the wonderful support over the months.