how Honest are you in your marriage? Poll

[mayfly]

My husband and I pretty much tell each other everything.

[Mouse7088]

Heehee...I have my secrets, but they aren't b-a-d. They're things I keep to myself in order to keep HIM from worrying. He's one of those ppl. who tend to worry about things that he can't change...no matter how much he wants to.

[telos2000]

There are some things that are better left unsaid. Some people take openness to mean full discolsure which can lead to hurt feelings or even worse. You should know your spouse well enough to know what to disclose and what to keep to yourself. It is better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and prove it.

"Honey, do I look fat in these jeans?"

[hmsram]

I agree some things are best left unsaid...I know my dh has not always been completely honest with me either, but I have never pushed the issue, somethings I found out about (from his younger days) he would deny any how so I just let it go

[bestmidwest]

What I don't tell DH about usually stems from purchases I make. It's not stuff that is a big deal...he will find out eventually, but there's no sense in getting his knickers in a knot over things like that. Other than that, there's not much I wouldn't share with him...

[Brenda2000]

My husband is insecure about different things, so there are just some things I can't tell him....it just makes life easier. I found this out after several years of marriage.....he would worry or dwell on little things I would tell him...so no more.
Otherwise, we are pretty honest on major things.

[AndersonGal]

DH says I'm the most honest person on the planet.
I don't hold much back from him unless I'm sure it would hurt him.
I believe in being honest but I don't believe it's okay to hurt people in the name of honesty.

P.S.~ I wish more people believed that.

[Here2Earn]

We tell it all with some ground rules. We both know that the demise of our first marriages were due to spouses that didn't talk and didn't listen. So, there is ground rules one and two. Talk and listen. Next comes intent. Make sure you clarify what you are INTENDING to get across. We ask the other if we are in a willing to listen mode before we start a conversation. Preface where you are emotionally by defining your feelings at the moment....worried, angry, upset, happy, miserable...NOT YELLING OR DEMANDING...you get my point. No raising of voices other than for emphasis or because it is good, no name calling and no dragging up dead bones that should remain married. So, we have what we have come to call "rules of engagement". We've been together a decade and we just don't have cross words with one another. Yep, we spill it all. It works for us and we are happy about that.