Would you have an affair?

[AndersonGal]

I could say "no" because in the 20 years we have been together I never have.

But, who can say because.....
I'm human. I could make a mistake because I have feelings, needs and all that other stuff that makes us less than perfect. So, ask me again in 20 years how I've done.

[Rockabillie]

Yes, I admire you AdersonGirl, for admitting you can't guarantee you won't even though you think you won't.

We all tend to think in absolutes and aren't realistic about the fact that people who think highly of themselves ('I'll never make a mistake') in fact act pretty humanly (and make lots of mistakes).

I never have, don't think I ever will. I'm too matter-of-fact. I would have talked about and changed the relationship before it got to the point of my seeing cheating as a better alternative.

[mrbowler]

Originally Posted by AndersonGal

I could say "no" because in the 20 years we have been together I never have.

But, who can say because.....
I'm human. I could make a mistake because I have feelings, needs and all that other stuff that makes us less than perfect. So, ask me again in 20 years how I've done.

Appreciate your Honesty AndersonGal Hey has anyone answered yes??
I guess DOD doesn't fall into the general population percentages.

[mrbowler]

Would you, or have you had an affair?


I would never do that, I love my spouse too much [ 7 ] 24.14%
I would consider it if my feelings were so strong that I just couldn't bear to be apart from the other person, and that was the only choice [ 1 ] 3.45%
I've had an affair, it broke up my marriage [ 0 ] 0%
I'm having an affair, but I'm still married [ 2 ] 6.90%
Marriage vows are sacred, I'd never do that [ 5 ] 17.24%
I'd have to think about it, depending on the circumstances [ 2 ] 6.90%
You must be kidding, never never never. [ 6 ] 20.69%
I'd stay with my spouse and have an affair [ 1 ] 3.45%
I'd feel too guilty if I had an affair [ 3 ] 10.34%
Other [ 2 ] * 6.90%

Total: 29 votes 100%

[Mouse7088]

Mr. Bowler...hee hee...go re-read my post babe I didn't vote because...well...I didn't think any of the options totally/completely fit the reply I posted...if that makes any sense.

AG...very true.

[Juliannaluv]

MrB, you gave your answer away...

I will be the brave one here and admit it, and please do not judge me because of it.... I have had an affair. I have tried over and over to correct my marriage problems and my concerns always fall on deaf ears. I wasn't looking to have an affair, but met someone who gave me what my husband would not...affection, tenderness, and respect. He was interested in me and what I like. He took time for me and he seriously cared. I had filed for divorce, but then decided to give my husband another chance. My husband knows nothing of this affair.

Recently, my marriage has been suffering again because my husband has gone back to his old abusive ways....I was having an "emotional affair" of sorts because of this. The Man lives very far away from me and is in the Army. I was on the phone every day with this man and was, again, contemplating filing for divorce. I kicked my husband out of the house and we separated. He begged for forgiveness and I am allowing him one final chance to correct his problem. This time he is FULLY aware of this man who was such a huge part of my life recently. I told him everything about my relationship with this man. I am no longer speaking to him (the "other" guy) and am concentrating on my marriage at this point. My husband and I are each going to individual counseling to work out our internal issues so we can, in turn, give our marriage one last chance to work.

What I do know is that I will not have a relationship with anyone else ever (unless I end up divorcing him)....I will not open a (new) different door unless the door on my marriage ends up closing forever.

[telos2000]

Nopper, I would rather be shot in the head than get involved in an affair. It is not worth the pain and heartache. Having said that, I try not to fool myself and I stay out of positions that could lead to that kind of behavior. I never meet alone with another woman if it can be helped.

In order to stay out of trouble, you have to be able to recognize it and run away!

[Juliannaluv]

I fully admit I was wrong. I am a Christian and I sinned by commiting adultery. I saw and recognized that it was wrong, but bought into it instead of turning and running. I was weak and voulnerable and made poor choices.

[Twinplets]

In addition to the moral and emotional considerations, I'd be scared of STD's.

[Juliannaluv]

Originally Posted by Twinplets

In addition to the moral and emotional considerations, I'd be scared of STD's.

That is why I am glad you can't get an STD by talking on the phone...That is all this was recently.... phone conversations, but for those who choose to take it further I would hope they would protect themselves.

I think I will bow out of this thread now because I am sure I've ben judged for my lack of judgment and poor decisions. I am human....I am just the only one brave enough to admit my mistakes in this thread is all. My husband and I are working on it to see if we can, again, find the love we once shared.

[mrbowler]

Originally Posted by Mouse7088

Mr. Bowler...hee hee...go re-read my post babe I didn't vote because...well...I didn't think any of the options totally/completely fit the reply I posted...if that makes any sense.

AG...very true.

I agree...hey aren't guys suppose to be dude's and gals babe's..LOL

[hrdlife1]

Would I have an affair? Never in a million years

[YorkieLover]

Originally Posted by Juliannaluv

I fully admit I was wrong. I am a Christian and I sinned by commiting adultery. I saw and recognized that it was wrong, but bought into it instead of turning and running. I was weak and voulnerable and made poor choices.

Your honesty about it is great. I think so many people would just keep making excuses, but you are facing the problems, and that is admirable.

We live in such a disposable world, and I can see how easily an affair can happen. No one person may be able to give and take everything we want. And although I truly mean it when I said I could never do that to my husband because I love him too much, that doesn't mean it could never happen in the future, because I, too, am human, and with humans, you just don't know. But I agree with Telo's thinking, in that I do not put myself in situations where attraction or an affair can even get started. That's the way I handle it, anyways.

Especially recently, I have learned how very important it is to not get so wrapped up in life, but to focus love and attention and caring on your spouse, if you intend to live into old age with that person. That's the way to make your spouse (and you) feel so special to each other that looking elsewhere is not even an option.

Juliannaluv, I hope your DH can finally see that it's in his best interests and in your best interests to make a change to his treatment of you, so that your marriage can heal and you can both start enjoying life together again!

[Mouse7088]

Originally Posted by mrbowler

I agree...hey aren't guys suppose to be dude's and gals babe's..LOL

LOL! Not in my house Everyone is "babe" when it comes to my use of the word All of my fellas answer to it..LOL!

[3tbear]

That's true though, stay out of situations where you'd be tempted to have an affair, I totally agree with that.