The Stella Awards

[bradedit]

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds.

That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds, the teens who allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed.

This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question.

5th place (Tied) Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were

understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler wa s Ms. Robertson's Son.

5th place (Tied) 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (Tied) Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage door. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.

The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in

the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish.

The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as

Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a nightclub in

a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to crawl in through the window of the

Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a new Winnebago motor home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buyi ng their recreation vehicles.>

[3tbear]

OMG, LMBO, those were some idiots werent' they? I like the one about the guy who set his cruise control and then left to make coffee you've got to be kidding , I was practically on the floor, I was rolling on that one. What a moron! And the guy who got locked in the garage, another moron. I can't believe these people got money for doing these stupid things.

[Debbie42]

That is so stupid they should slap big big fines on any lawyer who trys to handle a stupid case like those. It is such a waste and why some costs are so crazy.

[doglover22]

It is absolutely appalling that these people were awarded money for their own stupidity and/or illegal activity. These people need to get some morals.

[Twinplets]

I wish I could get onto a jury in one of those cases. I think if anything the plaintiff owes the defendent money for wasting their time and resources. Especially the woman who got hurt tripping over HER OWN CHILD, and the ones who were engaged in criminal activities.