Can anyone answer legal question about mail?

[Louann]

Do any of you know if there is a law against someone opening mail that is not addressed to them, not at work, but at a home address?

[gmvalentine]

Originally Posted by Louann

Do any of you know if there is a law against someone opening mail that is not addressed to them, not at work, but at a home address?

As far as I know, mail privacy law in the U.S. prohibits the opening of someone else's mail without a search warrant or consent. I don't see any reason why this law would not be in effect in the case of letters addressed to a home address.

[AndersonGal]

It depends.
It it was delivered to them by mistake or if they took it from your mailbox. I have had other peoples mail left in my box and have opened it without seeing it was not mine till too late. Of course I felt bad but...............
accidents can happen that way.

[momof3girls]

Well, if I didn't open mail addressed to my husband, then it would never get opened and bills would never get paid.

[Louann]

Originally Posted by AndersonGal

It depends.
It it was delivered to them by mistake or if they took it from your mailbox. I have had other peoples mail left in my box and have opened it without seeing it was not mine till too late. Of course I felt bad but...............
accidents can happen that way.

It was neither of those. I wrote to someone and the person who opened it also lives in the house, and deliberately opened it even though it clearly wasn't addressed to her, and definitely didn't look like a bill or junk mail. She was being nosy and read my personal mail to someone else. I think she would have opened it even if I wrote "personal" on the front, and I feel my privacy has been invaded.

[momto1]

I think the law is that you have to prove that she KNOWINGLY opened the other person's mail. I think though in your case since it was a letter then the person could have gotten a few words in and realized it was not for her and should have stopped reading.

[Louann]

Originally Posted by momto1

I think the law is that you have to prove that she KNOWINGLY opened the other person's mail. I think though in your case since it was a letter then the person could have gotten a few words in and realized it was not for her and should have stopped reading.

She knew it wasn't for her before she even opened it . I was told she opened it specifically because it had a woman's handwriting on it (tho how block letters are only from a woman, mystifies me).

[freesurfer]

I'm sure it would be tough to prove though. But it is against the law.

[Louann]

Originally Posted by freesurfer

I'm sure it would be tough to prove though. But it is against the law.

Thanks. I would never try to have her arrested, I just was hoping for something in writing/on the internet to show that SHE was the person who did something wrong, and not ME for mailing it there. I had no idea my letter would be read by anyone except the person it was addressed to, and she violated my privacy, yet I was the person criticized for letting her see it. It would be different if the addressee had given it to her after it was already open, but that's not what happened. I have the right to tell anyone whatever I want, without someone I don't even know reading it first!

[3tbear]

It's definitely against the law. When we lived in our last house, one of our neighbors worked at the same company as my DH, she told him that when she got her bank statements, anything money related, that she could tell it was opened before she got it. Come to find out, the mailman was a crooked mailman, and he was the one trying to find stuff out so he could sue her and get money. Don't ask me how, I don't know the details here. I even remember that mailman. He was the one who was servicing customers if you get the picture, and I don't mean just delivering mail in the afternoons, so we'd always get our mail late. I never cared much for that guy, guess I had a bad feeling about him from the start.

I'm definitely getting off the topic here. Do you know who was opening it, was it anything like the person my DH knows, personal bank information? If you can prove who is doing it, you've got a case.

[Rockabillie]

OK< I just gotta say this:
It sounds to me like you sent a romantic letter to a married man (or in a relationship) and the wife opened it 'cause it had a woman's handwriting. The mud has hit the fan and now you're trying to prove SHE did something wrong, not YOU.

hmmm. If I"m wrong, set me straight.
If not, I will not encourage your denial or blame game.
Again, if I'm wrong, sorry, but I can't judge the situation with so many missing holes in the story. I need to know more of what happened and why.

[Louann]

Originally Posted by Rockabillie

OK< I just gotta say this:
It sounds to me like you sent a romantic letter to a married man (or in a relationship) and the wife opened it 'cause it had a woman's handwriting. The mud has hit the fan and now you're trying to prove SHE did something wrong, not YOU.

hmmm. If I"m wrong, set me straight.
If not, I will not encourage your denial or blame game.
Again, if I'm wrong, sorry, but I can't judge the situation with so many missing holes in the story. I need to know more of what happened and why.

You're close, but even I don't know the whole truth.
All I know is that they aren't married, and he's been telling me for 3 months that he doesn't even like her anymore, they are just roommates, he doesn't trust her, she stole from him, and he wishes he could get her to move out (but they have kids so that complicates it). So I assumed he'd keep her away from the mail which could have checks she could steal, and I sent him a letter just telling him we should try dating since we've been friends for 8 years and when he was telling me about the kind of woman he's looking for, he was describing me. He also told me he never realizes how much fun he had with someone till they get married to someone else, or become unavailable otherwise, and that he always chooses the wrong woman. He activated my mothering instinct and I was just trying to make a friend feel he had options and that someone cared and sympathized.
There was nothing romantic in it, I even told him I DIDN'T love him, just wanted to see if we looked at our friendship from a new angle, if we could develop something more.
So she opened it and got mad, and he got mad at me because he told me those things in confidence. Well, I thought they were completely true and that I would just be repeating his words to HIM. But now he says they love each other and are going to try to work things out.
So the letter actually helped them to start talking again about important issues, but I'm still angry because she's the one who did something wrong and if you're going to snoop, you have to accept you may find out something you would rather not know.
I'm just trying to figure out if I still want to be friends with someone who doesn't even know the truth about his own life, and I was trying to find out the legal opinion in case he phoned again and tried to blame me for something else. I feel violated because she read my thoughts, and I don't even know her.

[Rockabillie]

Honey, they will all tell you stories about how bad that woman they're with is. They're lying.

Get away from him and get yourself a man who will be honest.

You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out. Don't do that. Save yourself. Drop him.

Don't waste time getting mad at her, she is the least of your problems. He is the fink. and YOU need to get yourself out of it. And she may not have done something wrong: a wife has permission to open her husband's mail since they're legally liable for each other's finances. Stop trying to blame her since she opened his mail. That's between them, not you. Stop trying to misdirect focus away from your own error by pointing at her. They are both messed up; don't let them mess you up too. Walk away.

Go do something good for yourself.

[Mouse7088]

"he doesn't even like her anymore, they are just roommates, he doesn't trust her, she stole from him, and he wishes he could get her to move out (but they have kids so that complicates it)."

My opinion....that right there should have kept you from writing/sending any letter that you would not want her reading.
They have kids AND they ARE under the same roof. I have to agree with the above post...don't be mad at her for reading the letter.