Age??

[cujo0123]

At what age do you consider your kids independent? 18 is the legal age, but if your "kids" are in college the federal gov. says 24 years. At what age do you consider them no longer dependent on you?
Besides the poll, once they are independent (at whatever age you consider them to be independent) what do you do for them, how often do you "visit" either going to them or them going to you, how often do they/you call each other? Are you still just a phone call away no matter what time of day or night if there is a problem? Or do you say "your on your own" and don't answer the phone?
If you have anything else to add please do.

[miriama59]

That is a tough question. My daughter just moved back home and she turned 19 yesterday. She is a freshman in college and is independent in some ways, dependent in others. She still asks me my opinion on lots of things and advice, too. Sometimes if there is something she is uncomfortable doing....calling a business or taking care of something that she is unfamiliar with, she will ask me to do it. Most of the time I say no so that she can learn to do it herself. But I will suggest how she can do it if she is really lost.

When she lived with her boyfriend, she called a couple of times a week and would occasionally spend a weekend here. Car problems? She would call Bill and he would help her out, too. Oh, and sometimes she would call just to pick my brain about a class project for sociology.


I also have a nine-year-old that is very independent in lots of ways. More so than her sister was at that age. She hates me to suggest things for her, she wants to decide by herself. And she wants to do most things for herself.....but then some days she wakes up and has a "clingy" day.

[Nightowl69]

I think each child is different,some become more independant than others

[cujo0123]

Miriama, that sounds similar to the way I was at 19 except I was on my own at that age. I think I may have been slightly more independent but I had already been on my own since 16. That sounds normal to me. I'm not an expert on this but also looking at my sister when she was 19, your situations sounds normal. My sister lived with my mother and was VERY dependent. Our stepsister who is 12 now, is more independent.
I agree with nightowl, it depends on the person.
Do you think once a mother always a mother? Or, once a certain age, not a mother anymore but just another person?