legal question... very sad.

[barbaralarry]

Hi everyone. I'm having trouble trying to post this, so alot is being deleted in order to get it down!

Basically, I need to know if there is any way to find out if a check used to pay for something belonged to my mother or my sister.

My sister (Susan) is a witch to me, though I have always treated her nicely. She has never treated me nicely- ever... that I can remember. Anyway, after our mother passed, I asked for 3 things of little or no value. Two items were my mothers wishes that I have, the other is a request of mine (moms sunglasses) all are of sentimental value to me. I made 2 requests that were ignored last year. I wrote a third time and she responded telling me to pay her $3000 which is "your 1/3 share of the funeral expenses". My mom told me she had $25k life insurance policy she was leaving to me and my younger sister, Rebecca. I assumed that Susan stole it somehow (as Power of Attorney, there was no will) and used it pay for the funeral, keeping the rest for herself. Susan had never mentioned funeral expenses. I assumed it was paid for. We dont speak, obviously. There is no hope for us, so just understand that there is no hope, it is very sad. I have tried my whole life... she just hates me, period.

Susan said Rebecca already paid her $3000. I checked into the bill. It was all-inclusive of $6322. $3000 x 3 sisters does not equal $6322. Now, 2 sisters divided by $6322 equals almost $3000 each. Rebecca is checking her records to find the amount she paid.

Susan paid $4322 by Visa, and $2000 by check. What I believe is the check used was my mothers (Susans name is on her checks). I want to find out if it indeed was. If it is, then the shared amount of the funeral expenses would be $4322 divided by 3 sisters. A mighty big difference from the $3000 each that was stated.

I believe when mom gave Susan that $67,000 she expected it to cover expenses related to her illness and upcoming passing, and Susan would reap the net.

The bank will not tell me if the check was from my mothers account. Can her attorney find out for me? I know the check number but not the checking account number. How can I find this information?

Thank you for listening.


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[mayfly]

I am sorry I don't know the answer to your question. Just wanted to say I am sorry your mom died, and you are having all these troubles with your sister. (((((hug))))))

[AndersonGal]

Why do people get so wierd when a loved one dies?
Not you.
I know though how all of a sudden things/people just act really strange twords you.

I guess you would have to get a lawyer to help with this mess.
Doesnt Hardlife work for a lawyer?
Maybe she'll be able to give you some helpful advice.

Hope things work out but maybe it's time to just let it go. ?


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[cata5]

I'm not sure if I am following this, but couldn't you ask her to produce the check before you pay? You're wondering if it was drawn on your mother's account and thus, HER money..not your sister's money. Right? So if she (your sister) can't produce a check from her account written to the funeral home or whatever then you could offer to pay your portion of the amount that you are sure of.

This situation IS very sad and I feel bad for you. Does your other sister know any more than you do? Do they get along? Maybe she can help get it straightened out.

I hope you get the items that you wanted from your mother.

[barbaralarry]

What is going on? Everytime I try to edit it tacks it on again, so everything is doubled, tripled, etc and cutting off somewhere...

[barbaralarry]

nope

[barbaralarry]

Thanks so much to all of you. Its alot worse than what I posted, but I was having trouble with this site posting, it keep doubling what I wrote and cutting off sentences, etc. So I deleted alot.

Here are some of the lies;

My sister is charging me $3000 for a bill that is $6322 that should be split 3 ways (under normal circumstances),

Susan wrote me mom didnt give her any money (- court documents- its $67,000)

she said mom was afraid of me and security was in place to protect her from me (I called Hospice and was told that is totally untrue, which I knew- but there WAS security in place for my sister because she had mom in tears one day). I am mortified my sister would suggest mom was afraid of me! Even in her worst stages of COPD, I dont think even when she became delirious that she would have felt that way! At any time! I am a sensitive, very loving and compassionate person! I am ill to my stomach to hear my sister is behaving like this.

she brought a document into Hospice to ask people there if it looked like her sisters could take any of her house because mom owned 27%. She says she did not, but I was told by two different people.

she writes an average funeral is $11k-$15k, so my figure is low. But I know the total bill was $6322 because I called the funeral home.

she paid $2k by check, which I believe to be my mothers account. where else would mom's account moneys have gone?

she suggested I didnt care about mom because I didnt go to her funeral. I live in Ohio, my sister and mom live in Oregon. I am terrified of flying but had arrangements to go anyway because I love her so much and was close to her over the miles and years. my son awoke at 1:00 a.m. throwing up with a high fever I could not take him on a plane. we planned a 3:00am wake up to prepare for our flight. It was especially important to me that I go to her funeral, as I was unable to attend a funeral for my father 2 years prior.

Moms attorney told me there is a lien on Susans house because the state was paying for moms medical care and medications. It was for nearly $50k but was negotiated down to about $30k. Susan denies that. I am in the process of obtaining the court records of that, but mail takes time.

Susan told me some (meaning more than one) Hospice workers lostive, very loving and compassionate person! I am ill to my stomach to hear my sister is behaving like this.

she brought a document into Hospice to ask people there if it looked like her sisters could take any of her house because mom owned 27%. She says she did not, but I was told by two different people.

she writes an average funeral is $11k-$15k, so my figure is low. But I know the total bill was $6322 because I called the funeral home.

she paid $2k by check, which I believe to be my mothers account. where else would mom's account moneys have gone?

she suggested I didnt care about mom because I didnt go to her funeral. I live in Ohio, my sister and mom live in Oregon. I am terrified of flying but had arrangements to go anyway because I love her so much and was close to her over the miles and years. my son awoke at 1:00 a.m. throwing up with a high fever I could not take him on a plane. we planned a 3:00am wake up to prepare for our flight. It was especially important to me that I go to her funeral, as I was unable to attend a funeral for my father 2 years prior.

Moms attorney told me there is a lien on Susans house because the state was paying for moms medical care and medications. It was for nearly $50k but was negotiated down to about $30k. Susan denies that. I am in the process of obtaining the court records of that, but mail takes time.

Susan told me some (meaning more than one) Hospice workers lost thiei jobs because they shared info with me (99% untrue she said) and others. I called Hospice, this is totally untrue. No one was reprimanded or lost their jobs.

Had Susan not held my 3 personal items I asked for from me, I would never have known there was a lien on her home, or that mom gave her $67,000, or any of this! I also found out through Hospice that my sister filed an abuse suit against them because mom hurt her back there! They came out clean, and boy am I glad! I bet Susan had a lawsuit pending to make her yet MORE $!!! I am so sick!

Anyone know how I can find out if my sister has filed any lawsuits in her lifetime? My father died and I believe it was malpractice but I never filed anything, and Susan wanted those records in a BAD way! I never thought too much about it until now.


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[barbaralarry]

I hope you can follow the post, I gave up editing to correct it.

[barbaralarry]

I could ask Susan, but she will never produce it. I am almost positive thats what she did. I would like to know FOR SURE before Susan knows I suspect her.

[barbaralarry]

cata5, thanks. It would be a good idea with NORMAL people. But my sister needs a doctor so she doesnt qualify.

:-)

[cata5]

You almost need to post in smaller paragraphs (in separate replies) until Mayor figures out why it repeats, but I can decipher the doubling.

It does sound like many pieces are missing and I know you are trying to figure it out without her knowing which must be hard. Have you contacted the lawyer yet? That may be your only hope. I really hope you figure it out or at least find some peace. Maybe this weekend someone else will post some helpful info. Hang in there and keep this on the main chit chat page so others may reply. Good luck.

[beffie]

Concerning finding out if your sister has ever filed lawsuits... Hope this might help!

Check the local courthouse where your sister lives. See if they can search using your sister's name... if you have it Social Security number might help, address, etc... her identifiying information.

If she's ever filed a lawsuit, it should be "public record"... meaning it is accessable to the public. If you want copies of the paperwork, they will probablly charge a per page copy fee, usually about 10 - 25 cents a page... That can add up quick, so you might just want the "important" parts of the files, pages with the "important" information concerning the file...

Good luck!


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[ladey_hawke]

First off, do you know anyone there that can do some leg work?? If so they can go to the local courthouse and do a search for any legal cases with either your mother's or sister's name in it wither as plaintiff or defendant.

Now, as for there being a lein on your sister's home. I should think not. Unless it was a private facility, and your mother or sister signed some sort of contract in which they ahd to put up something as collateral they can't touch her house. If your mother had owned a home, they couldn't have touched it either.

If there was no will, then her estate, by legal mandate should be probated. Meaning, any asssets that she had would be added up, then any debts she owed would have been paid. Then, the remainder would be split amongst the heirs. If your mother had insurance, the funeral would have been paid out of it as well as any other remaining medical expenses.

Just because your mother made your sister her power-of-atorney while living, it does not give your sister unquestionable rights after her death. Your sister should have had to go to probate court and be named executrix to the estate,in which case, you should have been notified so that you could object if you wanted. If she was named executrix, she must be able to show the court EXACTLY what she did with the money, personal items, etc. If the court finds she has mishandled your mother's estate, she can be held CRIMINALLY liable.

Contact an attorney and stop your sister. Get copies of everything that you can and try to get affidavits from people that dealt with your mother and sister. And do it FAST. If you sister has mishandled the estate illegally and was blown all the money, she can be ordered to pay restitution to you and your other sister.

GOOD LUCK!

[rualakin]

Stories like this utterly break my heart!!! My parents are 80 and 86 and they have five children. Because in their own families there were issues over certain deaths, my parents have a will that basically states that there will be NO FIGHTING WHATSOEVER among the siblings. If any fights or discord come about, everything (and I mean everything) is to be put up for auction and the monies divided five ways. Period.
I agree that the estate should have gone into probate and I believe, depending on the length of time that has passed since, you might be able to get something done that way.
Also, I am wondering if these "funeral costs" include the cost of buriel or cremation and burial plots here in Eugene Oregon are VERY expensive. The added money might be for those expenses, not the actual funeral.
Unfortunately, I think you might have to hire an attorney to clear some of this mess up and it might get terribly expensive. If your sister has indeed stolen money from an ailing elderly person and subsequentially from their estate, however, she should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law! I have no patience with those who "abuse" in any way shape or form the elderly (or children for that matter)!!!!!!!!
Just my opinion hun. Bless you during this time of loss and family issues. I wish there was something more I could offer to you other than (((((big hugs))))).

rual


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[bbelover]

this is a very sad situation...I can relate...when my dad passed away a few years ago, he suppossed left everything to my brother because I lived outta state, and suppossedly even tho i communicated with my dad every weekend, he was mad..
My brother promised me 40000.00 if I wouldn't tell my dad I wanted the house, which I did....when dad died, 5 minutes passed and my brother was on the fone getting his annunities and monies released for my brothers use....
My brother was ripping off my dad while he was alive, because my Dad gave him power of attorney, which may be your case.....BY LAW in my state, MA, everything needs to go thru probate....and if you have a ?? about costs or where is the money whatever , reciepts must be shown....so my advise would be file at probate court...contesting everything, thus you force her hand.....I never got along with my brother either, only thing I wasnted when my dad passed away was a handwritten note from my mom right before she died....

you have the greatest power right in front of you.....Check her state for probate laws, see what can be done....

I hope this helps, and I'm very sorry for your loss