Venting about the little brat in my dd's class!!!

[jen6889]

Ever have one of those kids in your child's class that you wish you could just strangle???

Michelle has been getting picked on by this little brat in her class. She complains to me about her at least 3 times a week since school started in the fall! This girl has nothing nice to say to her, she picks on her, tells her she's ugly, tells her she always wears ugly clothes, says her hair is nasty, that she acts stupid, makes fun of her when she's playing, and completely ignores her when they are doing class activities. UGH!!! I have not liked this girl since the first day I saw her - on class orientation day. She's nosier than all. When I went on the class field trip, I brought mine and Michelle's lunches in, set them down on Michelle's desk and went to help the teacher. I turned around and this brat was looking through our lunch bags and pulling everything out.

They are only in 2nd grade for heavens sake!!!! And Michelle wears nice clothes. She's always been picky about her clothes and if it's not trendy or cool, she won't wear it. I just don't get where this girl gets off saying these things about Michelle. No one else picks on Michelle. She gets along great with everyone else and has lots of friends. Michelle says this girl only picks on her. I wondered if it was because Michelle is one of the littlest in the class, but she doesn't pick on Hope, who is even smaller than Michelle.

This girl really annoys me. I want to just smack her. Michelle says it doesn't bother her, but I think it does. She's one of those kids who doesn't let on about how much things do bother her. She told me when Nicole says something mean to her, she always tries to say something nice back. Woo... a lot better than I'd handle it. I'd be rude right back to her. My dd is planning her birthday party in May and has told me she wants to invite everyone in her class, EXCEPT Nicole. Rude as it sounds, I'm all for excluding the little brat. I don't want her ruining my little girl's birthday.


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[LocaChica]

Originally posted by jen6889
My dd is planning her birthday party in May and has told me she wants to invite everyone in her class, EXCEPT Nicole. Rude as it sounds, I'm all for excluding the little brat. I don't want her ruining my little girl's birthday.

I don't think it's rude at all. It's her party and she should invite the people she wants to celebrate with. I don't blame her one bit for not wanting that nasty brat there. oops, sorry. I don't like those types of kids, though. Not that anyone does.

Michelle is handling it better than most adults (myself included, lol) would. I don't like to say it, but the brat must be jealous of Michelle and how everyone else likes her.


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[mayfly]

OH MY WORD! Do not invite this child if your daughter doesn't want to! I am so sorry, its frustrating as a parent to see your child be hurt over and over, and not be able to help.

[cashhound]

Sounds like the brat is jealous. And a potential bully. What does the teacher say about her?

[Juliannaluv]

I would talk to the teacher about it first, then the principal. I'd have them sit the girl down & have a little "talk" about respecting others. If this doesn't work, I'd call the little brat's parents!

I know this is a little different, but the parents in my neighborhood have an agreement that whenever there is a problem of any kind we call each other.

I would not ever hesitate to call the parent (s) of one of my sons' classmates if I thought there were inappropriate behavior, and I'd want them to do the same for me! I'd want to be the one to kick my kids butt for disrespecting others, because they both know better! (Okay, Okay, you caught me, I would not LITERALLY kick his butt, it's a figure of speech, but we'd have a talk & he'd have to apologize to the child that he treated poorly and the child's parents.....then I'd ground him). disrespect is a BIG NO NO in my rule book!

[freesurfer]

Maybe bring in the school counselor to help the girls.??

[Darster]

I have been in a situation similar, one time when my daughter was in first grade, a little boy was touching her innapropriately. I talked to the teacher, who said that based on what I shared with her there was a potential problem of abuse (perhaps happening at home TO the boy).

This little girl is probably treated horribly at home and she's acting out in anger toward someone she can do it to.
She's obviously in pain of some sort, and I bet she is jealous too.
It's only going to get worse unless it gets nipped in the bud.
I bet if you talked to her parents, they'd be defensive jerks...and you'd see where she learned this, right?

Here in GA at least there are only a couple more months of school. I don't know where you are and how much time is left in your school year. If it was earlier in the year and the teacher/administration didn't do anything about the problem, I'd consider moving my child to another class...but this late in the year, that would be too hard on your child.

Think of this as boot camp, on the job training that your daughter will need for the rest of her life. It can be really freeing when we realize that every day, every minute of each day, there is someone, somewhere, who is mad at us or doesn't like us....but look at how many people she is able to get along with...? The good people always outnumber the bad.

Although ignoring the child isn't a total solution, that's what I would tell my daughter to do if she was in this situation. Usually what the person who acts this way is looking for is the reaction. Take away the reaction and their 'entertainment' is gone.

If the teacher and administration of the school don't help, then raise **** with them.

Good luck!


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[jen6889]

My dh says to talk to the teacher about it too. Michelle tells me she's told her teacher and the teacher said she'd talk to Nicole about it, but Michelle told her not to & that she could handle it. I think I'll go after school on Monday to talk with the teacher anway. It obviously bothers her or she wouldn't talk about it so much.
This whole thing really bugs me big time. I grew up with the same crap and I am nearly heartbroken to see it happening to her too.
My husband says that maybe she's mad at Michelle because she has nice clothes. We are not at all, by any means rich, but we do have a higher income than the majority of families in our area and he thinks that because I spend extra money on the nice, better quality things that it may be "ticking off" some of the other kids. He also wonders if she's jealous of me. We've never seen Nicole with anyone but this really old lady who looks old enough to be MY grandmother. Whatever the case, I think this girl has some kind of issues that have nothing to do with Michelle.


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[whitequeen96]

OK, I am probably going out on a limb here, but I don't like the idea of inviting everyone except this girl to your dd's party. The reason I feel this way is that my friend has a 6 yr. old boy that was excluded from a party exactly this way just last month. (He has mild autism, and the birthday girl thought he was wierd.) This little boy was DEVASTATED, and cried the whole Saturday that the party was going on. His mother called me and was so upset that she broke down in tears. (And this woman NEVER cries).

I certainly understand you not wanting to inivite this girl over, since she bothers your daughter. However, the results would most probably be bad for her AND for your daughter:

1. If this child is excluded, she will feel like even more of an "outlaw" and will have no reason to stop tormenting your dd. She will certainly be very hurt and angry, and may decide to exact revenge with even worse treatment.

2. However, if you can discuss this with her grandmother (?) or teacher before the party, maybe you can get the girls on better terms. Nicole might feel so happy to be invited to the party that she behaves herself. Perhaps you could arrange a small outing with your daughter and her (and maybe a sibling or two) a few weeks before the party. (Just make sure it is not a group that will gang up on Nicole, or exclude her.)

You never know what might happen! My very best friend is someone who used to annoy the heck out of me! Ohhhh, how she irked me! I really couldn't stand her and her somewhat sarcastic ways. But now I couldn't live without her and she and I really help each other out. We are exact opposites, which is why I didn't like her at first, but is also why I value her so much now. Wouldn't that be funny if that happened here?


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[rualakin]

Frankly, I am rather surprised the teacher isnt dealing with this. In my daughter's school, they pretty much have zero tolerance for this sort of thing. Our school motto is Be Safe Be Kind Be Responsible, and our schools entire reward system is based upon these three simple rules. This child would be in rules school every day for being disrespectful and unkind if she attened my daughters school.
I hope you have success in talking this over with the teacher and/or principal. Good Luck!
Bless your daughter's heart... she certainly is acting more mature than most parents I have seen ;-) (good job teaching this mom!)
rual


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