Personal Question - Ladies Only Please

[ShainaT]

I am still nursing my 6 month old son and let me just say that NOTHING is more important to me than SLEEP!! Nothing!!

I am right there with you Shanie. (How can you handle two kids PLUS a husband anyhow? Just having one child and a husband seems like more than I can handle sometimes.)

[Brenda2000]

Well, this is the only thing DH and I argue about.
If it was up to him, we'd be doing "it" 3 or 4 times a week. I'm doing good to manage once a week.

We've been married 17 years and have two kids.(11 and eight years old). I have been on the pill because of bad periods for 17 years, had two episiotomies (one was with a inter-muscular tear because of a big baby) and two vaginal surgeries. The last surgery was 10 months ago, a marsupilization. They basically go in and remove your bartholyn gland and the tissue and cyst surrounding it, through your vaginal wall. It was the most painful thing I have ever had done, and recovery was brutal.

That last surgery pretty much killed my sexual drive. (Can you say, "Scar tissue?" ). All I can say is...Lubrication is most important, and if I'm not in the mood, it can be uncomfortable... (hope I wasn't too graphic).

Plus, 9 O'clock in the evening rolls around and I am READY FOR SLEEP. I try to manage morning "sessions", as I am not as tired and more in the "mood".

DH gets really cranky when he feels deprived, so often I just do it so he's in a better mood. He did come home with a "toy" awhile back...and once we got past all the giggling...it wasn't so bad...
definately different!

Just hope it helps you knowing that there are many women out there with the same issue!


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[NaomiMarie]

The men could always do the work by hand

[jen6889]

Originally posted by NaomiMarie
The men could always do the work by hand

ROFL!!!! But... As my husband would say, in his most annoying whiny voice, "BUT HON-ney, it's just not the same."


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[NaomiMarie]

Originally posted by jen6889



ROFL!!!! But... As my husband would say, in his most annoying whiny voice, "BUT HON-ney, it's just not the same."


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[ftmom]

Originally posted by jen6889



ROFL!!!! But... As my husband would say, in his most annoying whiny voice, "BUT HON-ney, it's just not the same."



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At my home, he does it 2 or 3 times a day- by himself, then we are together 3 or 4 times a week, because he initiates, and I let him.....Not like I feel anything anyway.....

Can a 3rd child stretch you out so much, or kill the nerves that you feel nothing? Just wondering....


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[mayfly]

oh shoot, thats terrible ftmom. I don't know about the nerves, but if you're worried about the stretch kegels are wonderful. I read once that 100 reps is good to start with, holding each as long as you can.


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[hrdlife1]

ftmom, like mayfly said try kegels...

just wanted to add one more thing too...and then i'll shut up i swear ROFL....husbands also need to be reminded not to be so selfish there are a few times where it's just ALL ABOUT ME for christopher and he enjoys that just as much...*blush* maybe you could try that? there are so many different things you could try and once you do BOTH of you can be very happy just have to remind them every now not to be selfish LOL!!

*hides chandelier*

[Brenda2000]

Originally posted by jen6889



ROFL!!!! But... As my husband would say, in his most annoying whiny voice, "BUT HON-ney, it's just not the same."


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ROFL! This statement really made me laugh, cause it sounds like something my DH would say!

Plus, in our relationship, that or anything other than the actual "deed" wouldn't "count" if you know what I mean. He says it's an "emotional" thing for him. (yeah, right)

Geez...ftmom...2 or 3 times a day? Not to be critical, but that seems like a lot. I guess I'm glad I don't have a clue how many times or how often my DH does that.

[luvmetender]

Originally posted by chippers21
Shainie I think it is pretty normal but I would still suggest that you go the extra effort once a week or so to have a special night with hubby where you do something together...something that is likely to put you more in the mood. Sex is more important to men than women, but to have a healthy, happy marriage ( I speak from 30 years of experience) sex on a regular basis is a good idea.

Chippers, we finally agree on something!!

[Shainie]

Well my husband claims he doesn't "take care of things" on his own, so that's why he needs me to help him out.

I agree that we need some time alone, and maybe that's part of the problem. We go out alone maybe . . . . once every 5 months. We're so into our kids, that maybe we lost sight of ourselves as a couple.

You gals are so great!


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[luvmetender]

Originally posted by ftmom


At my home, he does it 2 or 3 times a day- by himself

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WHAT????

[jlfletcher]

Originally posted by Brenda2000
Well, this is the only thing DH and I argue about.
If it was up to him, we'd be doing "it" 3 or 4 times a week. I'm doing good to manage once a week.

My husband thinks once a day isn't enough! And usually, yes, I do give in just so I don't have to hear him complain. But after my son was born (I was 1 I had no desire to be looked at, let alone touched. I tried the birth control shot, the birth control pill, no birth control, it didn't matter. I think a lot of it is my self esteem and the fact that I don't like my body, but that just doens't make sense to him. I'm hoping now that my parents have started keeping my daughter (3 months) as well as my son one night on the weekend, it will give us a chance to get back to us and have some time away from the stress and responsibilties of having the kids at home.


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[chippers21]

Originally posted by luvmetender


Chippers, we finally agree on something!!

LOL We probably agree on alot of things that have to do with marriage and family life.