hey all you nursing moms. read this -

[hannahsmom]

yesterday i was UNinvited to a party because i'd told the hostess the baby was coming. he's 5 months, and i go hardly anywhere w/o him bacause he's strictly nursing.
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[Shainie]

HOW RUDE!

Okay - first off, if it's the whole nursing thing she's uncomfortable with, she could have tactfully asked if you'd mind using her room for nursing . . . saying it would probably be more comfortable for you and for the guests. (There will always be a stigma about watching women breastfeed, since society has made breasts completely sexual instead of functional).

Even though I'm not nursing, I still bring Shane with me everywhere . . . even if I do leave Bronson at home with dad. There's a big difference between babies and toddlers!

I had a partylite party not too long ago, and I did ask a couple people if they could find someone to watch their toddlers. Candles and breakable items are not the best items to have around toddlers. But babies . . . all they do is lay there.

I'm not sure what you can do about it though - hopefully someone has some good advice for you. This person is obviously not the best to keep as a friend.

What kind of party is it? I was invited to an "Adult items" party and the invitation said "No children of any age to attend". Just a statement like that alone made me throw the invitation away, not to mention I don't care to sit around with a bunch of women and look at pleasure devices. LOL


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[t_kuczy]

I would be furious if I were you. I can't believe people can still be so ignorant about nursing. There is absolutely nothing inappropriate about it. I understand that it is not for everyone, but it is a natural thing and people need to stop being so backwards about it. As long as you are being discreet about it, I can't see why she should have a problem with it. Personally, I would drop this person as a "friend" because she doesn't sound like much of a friend at all. I would just call her and tell her "I'm sorry, but we can't make it after all." If she presses you for a reason, tell her straight out that her comments really hurt you and you don't feel comfortable attending anymore.

[teraberry]

That's too bad. I wouldn't get worked up about it - she just doesn't understand for some reason.

Here's a link that talks about the benefits of breastfeeding in relation to the decreased risk of breast cancer - just to give you an extra lift in support of it. Maybe you'll want to pass it on to her.

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[hannahsmom]

then i starting crying. it really hurt my feelings. then i started questioning myself (which is the most rotten thing about it). [Only registered and activated users can see links. Either login above or Register Now]
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[mama2calli]

I'd call her to let her know that your feelings are hurt and try to explain it nicely and calmly! Mine feelings would be hurt, that's for sure!

Pierson is adverse to bottles too (even with breastmilk in them!) so it's pretty much a given thing that wherever I go, he goes... my friends are very understanding and after watching me breastfeed all 3 kids (in the past 5 years, that is!) they have gotten over their uncomfortableness!

{{{PAULA}}}

Kath


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[mayfly]

I am so sorry! That was a humiliating thing for her to say to you. She was totally wrong. There are a million other ways for her to say it. ((((((((((((((((big hug)))))))))))))))

I nursed my 4. Sometimes I felt like I always had to miss so much because I had to go into the other room to nurse. Usually it was because my kids liked quiet when they nursed, otherwise they would always be stopping and looking around them unexepectedly.

One other thought, it sounds to me that she is jealous, maybe have you nursed around her dh? Maybe she felt threatened. That was such a Wacko reaction to you, thats all I can think of.

[kat]

Oh, I think I would have been beyond furious! I nursed all of mine as well - they were also the kind of babies that wouldn't have anything to do with a bottle, even with expressed milk.

Luckily my friends were all very understanding so I never had to go through anything like this with any of them. My dad was the one who had a fit the first time around & then didn't say another word after he saw that our eldest was the type of baby that had to nurse under a blanket (she wouldnt eat unless her head was hidden - even at home).

I have to agree with Mayfly - why else would she have such a whacked reaction unless she's jealous or maybe he said something that caused that reaction. Either way, she needed to be far more understanding.

And, I'd opt to have my DH call - that way something um... inappropriate on my end wouldn't accidently slip out of my mouth either.


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[chippers21]

I nursed all 4 of mine too, even in front of my Dad a couple of times...that was really funny.
I would not waste time stewing about it. She will not change her attitude so there is nothing to be gained. Have another good cry if you need it, but do not (this is only my opinion, mind you) tell her how she hurt your feelings. I would try to buck up and re-rsvp myself if I were you, leaving out any hurt feeling talk but telling her exactly why you have decided not to come- i.e. that the baby will need you during that time so you are staying home.

If you think you cannot keep from crying or throwing a fit, have your dh make the call. Men are usually very calm and collected about such things.

My response is based only on maintaining dignity and not causing furher verbal warfare.

[ladey_hawke]

If you are the vindictive sort, you could always call the husband and RSVP to HIM and let him know that his wife feels that you feeding your child is nto to her liking. Then sit back and watch the fireworks!!

Yes I have an evil streak, but I try to use it for good!!

[hannahsmom]

still i

[MirandaS30]

My sister seems to be the same way. Me and her are not really friends too, despite having kids the same age and living 5-10 minutes away from each other. When I told her I was going to be breastfeeding the baby that is now almost 3 months old she responded surpirising saying "why would you want to do that?" with a stupid look on her face. She is just plain ignorant! I couldn't beleive she said that. She just had her baby 5 weeks ago. I just laugh at her because she is that way. Like I would want to drink that nasty fomula crap, I darn sure wouldn't feed it to my own child (since I have an option, don't want to offend anyone). And I lost 32 pounds in 2 weeks (only gained 44 too) and she is still a chunky butt and contribute that to breastfeeding. Anyways, whenever she sees me breastfeeding she is sarcastic about it saying that is it strange and weird and crap like that. Oh my gosh, I cannot stand it. She also tells her 2 yr old to come and look at Kyle (my breastfed baby) while he is eating, basicly so the 2 yr old will look at me like I'm an idiot also because she is seeing something that she considers unnatural. This burns me to no extent. My sister is one of them type of people that would say to your face that she didn't have a problem with breastfeeding at a party that she was hosting, but would talk behind the breastfeeding mom's back. My only conclusion to her ignorance is a severe case of jealously also. But beleive me I know what you are going through, just kinda different situation.

Keep up the good spirit, afterall it could in turn lower your supple or dry you up. I have to try to do this all the time because of stupid people

Miranda


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[hannahsmom]

exactly what shainie's talking aboutnow![/url][/b]
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[mama2calli]

Well here's a cute one for the fellow nursing moms:

Since my 2 daughters (Calli, 5, and Katie, 3) hardly ever see Pierson taking a bottle, they in turn "nurse" their baby dolls! They'll be doing their "mommy" role play with their dolls, all of a sudden they'll ask the baby if its hungry, then lift up her shirt and put the baby doll to their respective nipple!

I think it's cute - and a good influence at that!

Kath

[pandybat]

I can't really add anything that hasn't already been said but I agree with everyone to not let this get to you, Paula. You deserve and your baby deserves better respect than that.

Breastfeeding has been done for centuries. When are people gonna realize that this is one of the best things you can do for your child? And not to mention it saves alot of money too because you don't have the need for formula.
I breastfed my daughter for the first six months of her life. I never did it in front of people. I would always go off on my own and do it and come back. It's not really something that I felt I needed to share with the rest of the house. I must admit, seeing someone doing it out in front of people does make me uncomfortable too. But that's my own deal. I think its a beautiful site to see and I have the tendency to stare which makes me feel that I am making the mother feel weird. So that's why it makes me uncomfortable to see someone else doing it....lol

At first, I was glad that I was actually able to breastfeed. And I could also see how much faster my weight was dropping because of it. I only gained 25 pounds and lost 23 within a couple months. After a while, I kept doing it because I could see how much we were saving by not buying formula. My goal was to do it until she was a year old but when 6 months rolled around, I needed to quit. It was getting too much of a pain because she was eating more and more and I couldn't keep up. But all in all, I am so glad that I did it. My daughter has never had an ear infection. She hardly ever gets sick, maybe the occasional cold, but nothing major. I attribute that to breastfeeding.

Dogs breastfeed their young. Kittens breastfeed their young. Cows breastfeed their young. Why is it when a woman does it, everyone freaks out like its so unnatural?? My sister is also one of those that thinks its just icky and terrible. I will never be able to talk her into thinking otherwise. She never tried it with her two kids.

Paula, no one ever needs to make you feel bad about breastfeeding. It's the most natural and most rewarding thing you can do for your baby. If they don't understand that, they have a very narrow way of thinking. I'm glad that you are not going to that party. I hope she misses your company and everyone asks why you did not show up. It's her loss, not yours. I say call her and tell her you cannot make it due to a prior engagement and make sure you hint that you are taking the baby with you...lol


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