OMG! (and @ my age) I'M EXPECTING..

[AndersonGal]

an addition to our little family.
Soon I may hear the pitter patter of BIG feet.

Seems I may have a relative move in with us.
Not sure how this all came about becuase we have only seen this person a hand full of times in the last several years.

Kind of wondering how another person will fit into our little household. Have any of you taken in a young relative?????
I was pretty frank about how were strict, have rules and won't put up with any BS. They may change thier mind but I have already stripped the plaster off the ceiling, washed the walls, started patching, found the paint and getting ready.

Any advice for taking in a young adult?????????
(Remember I was raised more or less as an only child & only have one of my own. So I'm not use to having many people around. Will I survive it?)


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[miriama59]

Well, now that I have finished wiping down my monitor after spitting coffee all over it.....LOL.....

Patience...set firm guidelines from the beginning...patience....is this person going to be working and contributing to the household? Did I mention Patience?


Really don't know enough about your situation but we have a houseguest every weekend..a young man and I have experienced the following: Lack of privacy..no more running around in short nightshirts! More food eaten than before tho our guest eats out a lot and brings some with him so as not to inconvenience us...his words not mine...and an extra helper for Bill, he is a great help with things that the girls and I don't want to do and Bill loves having a guy around the house. Our guest is very sweet and helpful.

Houseguests in the past: Some bad experiences because I should have been more firm....food eaten up (going to the fridge expecting things to be there for dinner and them being gone) ....messiness....you know, going to bed with the house clean and then getting up to a mess....friends of the guest coming in and out of my home, making me nervous because I didn't know them...having someone lay around the house a lot and not do anything, driving me crazy....lack of time with Bill because our "guest" wanted to spend all their time with him..jealousy from Bill's kid, phone charges out of the blue...the odd feeling of not being able to just BS on the computer because someone else was in the house and maybe I should be entertaining them?

As long as rules are set and you are prepared for the person being in your home it can be fun. I have had both bad and good experiences.


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[AndersonGal]

You had to clean the moniter- HA! you should have seen me when I got this phone call from out of the blue. SMP!! I'm not exactly close to dh's family (the ones I were VERY close to all passed away. Isnt that how it goes? LOL j/k?)

Yeah, lack of privacy has me concerened. We like to keep our business-our business. I can still run around naked and dh doesnt anyways since we have a dd (unless I'm chasing him around the bedroom). AND, I have NO IDEA if this person can be trusted. I mean I THINK they prob can, but how do I know?

Well, I won't know if they are coming for another week. They said they were but I think after I laid down the law and told them to make sure they could handle it- they just may change that mind. I'm so tough. Can you see me? 5ft around 98lbs and tough as nails.

[sblme28]

ok...now i had to clean my screen about the chasing him around the bedroom part...LOL. just so out of the blue...hehe.


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[3tbear]

Ok so what's the scoop here? Is this person getting kicked out of their house by the parents, is it a teen? I don't mind if my friends come and stay over every now and then, but a permanent house guest? I doubt it. I like my privacy too.

Hope you can handle it. You've got a good heart to take someone in like that. Like you said, hope they can be trusted. Well, I'm sure you'll find that out soon enough.

Good luck to you guys!


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[kat]

Lay down the law, AG!

We had my DH's niece stay with us & I dont think that child had any discipline before. Her mother passed away when she was little & then her dad passed away and so, at age 16, she came to us.

My kids are all good & know that they're expected to go to school, study and do some chores around the house. This girl had no clue - school was something she went to when she felt like it, thought that we were her maids and even managed to total one of our cars while she was here & then blamed it on our DD.

If I had it to do all over again, I would have laid down the rules BEFORE she came here & wouldn't have allowed her if she didn't want to live by them. If your visitor is coming because s/he hasn't been behaving at home, you might even want to consider putting it in writing & having everyone sign so there are no misunderstandings later on.

[AndersonGal]

Thanks for all the advice gals!

I guess I'll have to s-p-e-l-l out ALL the rules ASAP.
They may be in the early 20's but poo poo if your going to live with me- It's my way or the highway!
(How did that sound? Tough enough, too tough?)

Didnt sound like they plan on staying just a short time.

3Tbear~ Did you mean to say "SUCKER"? LOL

Wish me luck!
Today I finished patching, caulking and taking a break b4 I start painting. (Hey! You would need all that too if you were 120+ years old)


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[freesurfer]

What is the background on thiis? Why does this relative have to move in with you? Maybe I missed this..???


Many good wishes and luck coming your way!!

[AndersonGal]

I don't really know the *whole* story but sometimes you need to start life all over again.


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[3tbear]

Ok, so the just of the story is, that this relation of your husband's wants to start fresh with their life and you are giving them that opportunity to do so, providing they only follow your rules, do not make their own rules. Hey, I think that's fair enough. Nothing wrong with that.


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[kat]

I agree with 3t! Just remember, if they live in your house, then they have to live by your rules. And, if they're in their 20s, you won't have to feel bad if they decide to live elsewhere - it's not like they're kids who are unable to get a job & support themselves.