? For those w/one child who later decided to have another

[JenniferC]

Ok my son is 6 and we've been tossing the idea around about having another baby, unfortunately we weren't financially able to do it sooner (Not they you are ever truly finacially ready EVER LOL) And my son REALLY wants a brother.... or sister.
My question is how hard is it going to be? Does anyone have children so apart in ages and how is it going?
I'm TERRIFIED to go through labor again. I'm hoping I'll be able to have a planned C-section. First labor lasted 20 hours with contractions starting five minutes apart! We both had high fevers and they finally did an emergency c-section, afterwards the dr. told me at one point she was afraid we weren't going to make it. Kind of makes ya understand why I'm so scraed .... that and the fact that I'm the bigger baby when it comes to pain... But I really think having another baby will be wonderful.
Anyway any and all advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening!


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[Brendabutt]

Jennifer--I did the same thing as you. There are 61/2 years between mine. I guess there are good and bad. The oldest was a little mother hen and was a big help with the baby. And just think, you'll never (well, maybe never) have two in college at the same time. They are both grown now, and have gotten pretty close over the years. Of course the oldest was used to being the only child and only grandchild, so there was alot of jealousy when they were young(and some still). But I think everyone should have more than one. Anyway, that's my thoughts !!!

[cata5]

I think there are pros and cons, but if you want another child you will adjust. My last two are almost 5 yrs apart compared to 2-3 yrs for the others. For us the most difficult thing is that the youngest's interests are so different from the others because of the ages. He would like everyone to play with him, but they aren't interested in his games, etc.

He also is exposed to so much more than the others which can be bad yet also good...See? Drawbacks but also advantages.

My friend has an 11 yr old and almost 2 yr old. The daughter has been wonderful with her little brother, but again, they have their conflicts with the baby stuff and the preteen stuff.

I would be more concerned with the delivery part. What does your doctor say? Also, every labor and delivery is different. This time it could go very well.

My dad was 13 yrs younger than his sister AND 21 yrs younger than his oldest brother!! The siblings were pretty close as adults.

[Shainie]

Oops, posted wrong place! Moving on.

[jen6889]

Jennifer, if you had a C-Section with your first, then they should give you an option to have a planned C-section this time around. That's usually how they do it, but you may want to discuss it with your doctor to be sure.
I'm like you.. terrified to go through another labor. I've done my three, all vaginal. I wanted to go for the completely natural childbirth thing, but I wimped out! My first one lasted 18 hours, I had one shot of Nubain and was extremely exhausted and dehydrated. That was actually sort of a blessing as I ended up sleeping in between contractions. My second one only lasted 5 hours (that's my son Cody - to this day he still doesn't waste any time getting somewhere! ), everything was tolerable and great for the first 4 hours. Then I started begging for the drugs! I had one shot of Nubain but I think I was too far along in labor for it to do any good - man were those some intense contractions. My last one every single moment of the pain and agony is still VERY vivid in my mind. Everything was fine at first. I was probably the most energetic woman in labor ever at that hospital. I bounced down the hallway, stopped and sat down for a contraction, then jumped right back up again. I paced the room eating jello and chewing on ice chips (I was STARVING! yes, in labor, I was begging the nurse to let me eat lunch! ) Then, as contractions will do, they got more intense and soon it was the most painful experience I had ever had. I was in tears and couldn't so much as mutter a sound it hurt so bad. I did have a shot of Staydol, but it had long wore off and the nurse took her sweet time getting more! I never did get another shot because they said it was too close to delivery. Bummer.... When it came time to push, I think I must have been screaming so loud, they could have heard me 6 blocks away! LOL!! I have my suspicions that the only reason that labor was so painful was because there WAS a problem with the baby that no one had any way of knowing until she was born. PLEASE Don't let that scare you off because it was a freakish, extrememly unusual incident.

Now keeping that last experience in mind, can you guys believe I am willing to do this again??? (yes, this confirms it.. Jen is completely CRAZY!!! ) IF dh & I decide to try again, this time around I'm taking that blasted Epidural!!! LOL!!! A friend of mine just had her second baby last month and she said she didn't feel a thing! The nurse had to tell her it was time to deliver! She said she felt the urge to push, but no pain! Woo hoo.. and I've been holding out on taking this miracle drug???


As far as age difference goes, I have no experience with having children of my own that far apart, but I am the youngest of the family with only one sister 4 1/2 years older than me. My experience was that we were so far in age, we had nothing in common and did not at all get along. We are best friends now though!
Each child/situation is different too. There are many children who are that same distance apart or more who get along wonderfully. I always say don't worry about the age difference. It'll work itself out. If you want another child, go for it and don't worry about spacing. I think it's a waste of time to plan spacing out the births of one's children.


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[kells3]

When my oldest ds was18 months we started trying to get pregnant again. I wanted my children about 2 years apart. Well things did not go as planed and my second son is almost 9 years younger than his brother. I was worried about the age difference but it was wonderful. One was in school so I could give the baby all my attention. My oldest was so happy to finally have a baby brother. Then 5 months after I had my youngest I got pregnant again. I didn't think there was any way this could happen without a lot of medical help, boy was I wrong LOL. So now my youngest two are only 14 months apart.

This was a lot harder than 9 years apart. The good thing is that they have each other. I had a sched. c-section with each of them. Like someone else said if you already had a c-section hopefully you can just tell your Dr. you want another one.

Kelly mom to Chris 15, Andrew 6, and Emily 5

[miriama59]

Mine are ten years apart!

Sarah was very excited to have a baby sister. She was there for the birth, too. I still remember her face when the doctor held up the placenta for her to see where the baby used to live! LOL A little too much information.


Now that they are 17 and 7 there are a lot of battles. Mainly that Sarah wants me to keep Sadie out of her room!

I think that it is hard sometimes to remember that even though Sadie "demands" a lot of our attention (she is in sports and lots of activities) Sarah needs attention too. I am very thankful that I don't have to go through the teen years with them both at the same time too!

Fortunately, I have a husband that is very involved with the children, so that if I want to just go shopping alone with Sarah, he takes Sadie and vice versa.

There is the plus that Sarah can babysit Sadie which is very nice. And I was able to spend a lot of time with Sarah before Sadie was born, and then with Sadie she had lots of attention from her parents AND her sister.

I think financially it works better for me than having them close together because while Sarah has more expensive tastes and wants all the things teens want, Sadie has no needs for that yet. So I only have to deal with that issue one at a time.

My labor the second time was a lot less intensive than the first....under 6 hours....I didn't even know I was in labor. Went in for a check-up and the doctor told me to get to the hospital, had to call everyone and get Bill from work and everything.


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[NaomiMarie]

I say GO FOR IT, that's not that big of an age difference at all!

[telos2000]

My son is 13 and we are thinking about a little one! I say go for it!

[NaomiMarie]

Originally posted by telos2000
My son is 13 and we are thinking about a little one! I say go for it!

Seriously Telos?
Aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[telos2000]

Originally posted by NaomiMarie

Seriously Telos?
Aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

If I can convince my wife!

[NaomiMarie]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by telos2000
[B]

If I can convince my wife!

Good place to start, LOL

[telos2000]

She could be convinced to adopt, but it is very costly!

[deal4u]

My children are:

Stephanie age 21
Tim age 19
Lindsey age 9

At first I thought I was crazy to go through bottles and diapers again but it has been great. At times I'm sure the youngest felt like she had two sets of parents with everyone telling her what to do but the oldest two finally learned to be brother and sister and leaving the parenting to the parents.
The youngest has a great relationship with her siblings and we always had a babysittter. With the two oldest off to college I'm really glad I decided to have the youngest or I would be suffering from "empty nest" which I'm not ready for!

[NaomiMarie]

Originally posted by telos2000
She could be convinced to adopt, but it is very costly!

Adoption is a wonderful thing!