Ma'am?!?!?

[SweetPea26]

During a interview I went to use the word Sir after I answered his question, he told me that he did not want to be called Sir because he worked for a living. I personally thought that was rude because I was using my manners. I didn't mean any harm by using the word Sir.

[katlnhats]

[QUOTE=SweetPea26]During a interview I went to use the word Sir after I answered his question, he told me that he did not want to be called Sir because he worked for a living. I personally thought that was rude because I was using my manners. I didn't mean any harm by using the word Sir.[/QUOTE]

Hi,

I agree with you 100%! You were using good upbringing and good manners and..............he wasn't! Good for you! :)

Kat :)

[elle92]

Hey, all. I'm new here and just had to weigh in on this issue.

I've been alternately called miss or ma'am depending upon how I dress, and though Ms. is acceptable for married or unmarried, it's hardly ever used. And some people think it means a divorced woman or some radical, hairy-legged feminist. NO. Some even say Ms. is difficult to pronounce. NO. If I had my dithers we would do away with ma'am, which sounds all cowpowky and uncooth, retire Miss, because why should my marital status matter when it doesn't for men? And just use Ms. for every woman across the board. For the life of me, I don't know why women should be categorized according to their age and marital status when men are not.

Anyway, ma'am is insulting enough to most women that it should be retired. With regards to sizing someone up and deciding oh, so and so is a decade older so she's a ma'am, and my elder, that's patently ridiculous.
Someone 10 years older than you is not your elder! A lot of us have older brothers or sisters 10 years older. Do you honestly think of them as an elder? CO'MON! If you feel you have to use ma'am with "elders" use it on true elders. The elderly. Otherwise, I think categorizing women by age and marital status is STUPID, INSULTING, and it should STOP. I call every woman Ms. regardless of age or marital status. It's not hard and I manage not to offend.

[socklady]

When I was growing up I was taught to respect others. Maybe thats part of what is wrong with our world today, respect has not been taught. I find it very rude for the person giving an interview to correct someone for showing manners and if I was doing the hiring that person gets my vote..

[guysmy]

People just have to realize they are going to get a bunch of orders after they call me sir.

[QUOTE]Drop and give me twenty soldier![/QUOTE]

Yes sir!! :laugh:

[elle92]

I guess the real issue here is people in our culture fear getting older. Being old carries a lot of connotations like being washed up, no longer relevant, unattractive, asexual, etc.
In short, everything that makes life worth living is seen as having to be relinquished once you reach a certain age. All of a sudden you give up your individuality to be this stereotypic old person. And I’m sure part of that is an ultra competitive consumer driven culture where it’s constantly out with the old and in with the new. Check it out sometime. There are hardly any models of vital older people on television. All the shows center on the young and glamorous. It’s worse for women. If you’re not bone skinny and eighteen you’re nothing as a woman so far as the entertainment world is concerned. So it’s no wonder women feel insulted when people call attention to their age by calling them ma’am in a culture like ours. In traditional cultures getting older is celebrated. The older a woman gets the more respect and freedom she has. Being an elder is something to look forward to not dread. So those are some things to think about.

[socklady]

I find it very respectful and not only saying something of the parents but the kids as well..... my hats off to them.

[Floridamom]

I agree with Kipcc, I think it's more of how you treat someone. You can use ma'am or sir with a lousy tone and not mean it. As far as the Miss First Name goes, I was born in New Jersey but have lived in Florida for 22 years and have only recently started hearing Miss Lisa, or Miss So and So, so that floors me. We had an eleven year old that lived across the street from us that was in my daughter's class at school, she would call me Miss Lisa, but she was the rudest child you could ever meet. She showed no respect for me as an adult, and I just had to put her in her place. That is why I feel you show the respect by how you act and treat others more than whether you call them miss, ma'am or sir.

[elle amton]

This is what I think-some people seemed to say it was polite and some rude. To me it is not a matter of polite and manners. When someone refers to me as ma'am (except when in the south although I still do not like it) it is not that i find them rude but it makes me feel awful and sad. I feel as if I look older and I feel unattractive. No female wants to feel they look older. Friends of mine have commented on the same and we tend to range in age from mid 20s to mid 30s. The point is-the formality of politeness is not nearly as important as genuinely making someone feel bad about themselves and sad. Even if I do not think the person saying ma'am is socially incorrect or officially impolite I just feel AWFUL and I would NEVER want to make another female feel that way. In france I NEVER refer to a female unless directed to do so as madam and I NEVER refer to another female as ma'am because of how it makes me feel. I know you meant to only be polite but someones feelings could really be hurt.