Ma'am?!?!?

[kat]

Dev, I think you were right here. Although I was raised in California, I've lived all over the US as an adult and I think Yes Ma'am/No Ma'am and Yes Sir/No Sir are used simply to show respect for people. I've raised my children the same way and I've never heard anyone say that they thought my children were being sarcastic for using Ma'am & Sir (even when we lived in NY & Vermont), but maybe that's because they didn't use a sarcastic tone... I do think the way you say it matters so much more than if you say it at all. And Niki, my kids also never call another adult by just their first name - that's something that is for your peers. Unfortunately, most of the kids here will just come up & call you by your first name - no Mr/Mrs Lastname or Miss Firstname - and I find that so annoying!

The other thing that drives both DH & I up the wall is when we go out to eat & get the "how are you guys doing" from a waitperson. Grrr.... I'm NOT a guy - maybe they need some glasses???

[Dyllan]

Guys plural is a gender neutral term. Or rather, it applies to a group containing at least one male, and any number of females. It works like the plural pronouns in most (or at least some) romance languages (the female pronoun is used when speaking to all females, otherwise the male is used).

I know Spanish and French pronouns are like that. I imagine most other romance languages are too.

I don't think anyone doubts you are female when they say guys - they just understand the term to mean a group of people including at least one male.

-Dyllan

[telos2000]

I grew required to call all women "ma'am" regardless of their age. It is a Southern thing and meant as a sign of respect and not age. If you have a problem with that, build a bridge and get over it!8\ :) :D 8)

[chippers21]

I AM WITH YOU THERE TELOS.....lol

[ladey_hawke]

Ok, so why is it that all "Sirs" are "Sirs"? But for us ladies, it's Miss, Mis, or Ma'am? And I know that it's a respect thing for the most part, but it does make you feel old. I could have kissed the bag boy that called me "Miss" the other day!
One other thing, in the South, kids are taught to no/yes ma'am/sir but then they call you by Miss and your first name?
Just curious, cause I actually like it. It shows respect but is much less formal then your last name.

Miss Kim;) hehe

[Trace30]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ladey_hawke [/i]
[B]Ok, so why is it that all "Sirs" are "Sirs"? But for us ladies, it's Miss, Mis, or Ma'am? [/B][/QUOTE]


Probably because a man's name/status doesn't really change when he marries....unlike a woman's. "Miss" indicates an unmarried female, "Ms." indicates a 'liberated' female or it's unknown if she's married or not and "Mrs." is for a married female. "Ma'am" is just a general term of respect for any female....at least here it is. LOL....

[kat]

Dyllan - around here, you hear "you guys" even if the entire table is all women. It's simply a slang term that is used here for EVERYONE and it's annoying! Then again, DH & I are not in our 20's anymore, so more & more things annoy us. ;) (And nothing against people under 30 - it's just that 99% of the people who greet you like this seem to fall in that age bracket.)

I know about Spanish & Italian having gender neutral pronouns, and I'm pretty sure French does too (I'll have to double check with hubby on the French because mine is limited to a very few words). And I was being silly about them needing glasses - trust me, there's no way you could accidently think I was male, especially in person. :D

[devlina2u]

Kat, one line in your post makes me ask this question .... I think it's ok for kids to refer to someone as Ma'am or Sir but would it be ok for me to say ma'am to someone like 10-15 years older than me or at least looks like that?

[devlina2u]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Corganiacs [/i]
[B]Americans!
PTTTTFFFFFfff! [/B][/QUOTE]

Aren't you an american? ?(

[kat]

Dev,

I was raised that it was polite & proper to say Ma'am to your elders, no matter what your age. So, if the person looks 10 years older than you, then yes, you should say Ma'am to them.

I certainly wouldn't be offended if someone in their 20s or 30s said that to me - as long as they didn't use a wise tone and say it like if someone was strangling it out of them. ;) I still say Yes, Ma'am to anyone who looks older than I am or who looks like they've passed the 30 year age mark and are in a supervisory position, and so does my DH.

[Kipcc]

[QUOTE=kat]Dyllan - around here, you hear "you guys" even if the entire table is all women. It's simply a slang term that is used here for EVERYONE and it's annoying! Then again, DH & I are not in our 20's anymore, so more & more things annoy us. ;) (And nothing against people under 30 - it's just that 99% of the people who greet you like this seem to fall in that age bracket.)

I know about Spanish & Italian having gender neutral pronouns, and I'm pretty sure French does too (I'll have to double check with hubby on the French because mine is limited to a very few words). And I was being silly about them needing glasses - trust me, there's no way you could accidently think I was male, especially in person. :D[/QUOTE]

I've been taking French almost all my life and am pretty experienced with it, so I can tell you that yes, just like Spanish and Italian, French have gender neutral pronouns. The one for "you guys" is called "vous."

Anyway, while we're on the sir/ma'am subject, here's something interesting that just dawned on me: I am from up North, so even though I do use Mr./Mrs. when talking with adults (I'm still a kid), I do not use sir/ma'am. However, when I am addressing my mom's French friends or my French teacher, I often add "Madame's" at the end of a sentence. I guess their culture is slightly different, and I got into the habit using madame in French even though I don't use ma'am in English. Strange, no?

[katlnhats]

Hi all,

I agree w/TELOS too, and I'm "from" the North - Connecticut. Course, not much offends me! LOL

Kat :)

[Kipcc]

Here's a question for you all... does anybody think that the usage of Mr./Mrs. and sir/ma'am kind of make people distance themselves from one another? I mean the only people I use those names for are adults, and it definitely does not make me feel welcomed. When I was younger and still didn't know to call all adults by their last names, I always felt kind of degraded and distanced when I was corrected by them. I know it's considered respectful and all, but my closest friends call me by my first name... does that mean they do not respect me? I think actions speak louder than words. They definitely love me and respect me, and find plenty of ways to display that without having to call me Miss So and So. And how come all children are called by their first names? Does that mean that they are not respected and of less importance just because they have not been on earth for as long as their elders? Just a few questions I've always been kind of wondering about. What do you all think?

[june72]

:D I used to laugh and tell dh that I was too young to be called ma'am......but you know to me it is just being respectful. I can't say much, bc if I am at a store and need something.......what do I say?????? Ma'am/Sir:) It is one of them to each his own words:D

[momof3girls]

[QUOTE=telos2000]I grew required to call all women "ma'am" regardless of their age. It is a Southern thing and meant as a sign of respect and not age. If you have a problem with that, build a bridge and get over it!8\ :) :D 8)[/QUOTE]


I agree with Telos. Everyone says sir or ma'am down here in the south.