Ma'am?!?!?

[Pipanella]

I don't hear it much here, but when I do, I'm not offended. Yes, it seems that it's used by someone who is younger to someone who is older, so maybe that's where the offensiveness comes in. Or, maybe it's because sometimes it's used in a sarcastic manner to indicate that someone feels another person is being bossy. Example: "Yes, MA'AM!" with the emphasis on Ma'am, in response to a direct order. I've heard THAT far more often here than with respect.

Steph and I were talking about something similar when we were in Las Vegas. I was telling her about this family we have in our dental practice that's from the south, and the little girl (about 5 years old) called my co-worker 'Miss Kelly,' and the hygienist that cleaned her teeth, 'Miss Julie.' That really stood out to me, even though I was aware that it was a 'southern' thing. You NEVER hear that here in the north, unless it's a transplanted southerner, or the person is truly not married.

[3tbear]

Well...calling someone Maam implies they are old. When store clerks call me that, I get offended, I think I'm much younger than to deserve a Maam reply. Your DH is correct.

[3tbear]

Dev, saying Ma'am makes someone feel old. The checkout clerks sometime say that to me in the grocery store, it makes me feel ancient, and I feel I am young. I think down South it is probably more acceptable to say that, a polite term there, but where I live it just makes one feel old. Your DH is right.

[Margaritaville]

Dev....I think it just show's respect. That's all...I grew up saying it. Yes ma'am, no ma'am....and my kids are too.

I get called Miss Sam, and my husband get's called Mr. Scott...that's how all the kids in my neighborhood address us, and that's how my kids address the other parents. It's respectful....and that beat's anything. I think...

[chippers21]

Sir and Ma'am are signs of respect. I often use them.... What I am offended by is when someone says to a group of 30-60 year old women, something like "you GIRLS are looking fine...."

I guess that makes me old...LOL

[maryrob]

Dev, it is difficult to know if the person will be offended when addressed with the term. However, I have always been taught that it is done as a means of showing respect to elders or those in authority...so,as a general rule of thumb, I try to use it with older ladies/authority figures only.

If I'm on the phone & can't tell by their voice, I will probably use it if the person is polite just to show respect.

It doesn't bother me to be addressed as Ma'am, as long as its not done sarcastically.

BTW~I just got in tonight! Don't know why I was having problems posting before:( Good to hear from you:)

[luvmetender]

I live in the northeast, and both ma'am and miss are used here.

i.e. you are in a grocery store and an employee comes up to tell you that he thinks you dropped something.... how should he address you? Here he would say, um.... ma'am? (if he was younger than I) or excuse, me, miss? (if he was visibly older). I have no problem with either.

[NaomiMarie]

Steven, our 8-yr old recently (and I swear he must have picked this up from tv) started answering DH and I "M'am yes M'am" and "Sir, yes Sir". It cracks me up. We don't hear it used aroundhere too much.......it actually makes me think of military men, lol. Wonder if it's more of a regional thing? I don't see any reason to be offended though....I've been called a lot worse than M'am in my lifetime ;) :D

[miriama59]

I know that it is meant to be respectful but I can't help feeling old when someone says it to me. :(

[cashhound]

I was also born and raised in Texas. We were taught to use ma'am and sir always, regardless of age. To me, it doesn't imply an age connotation. Then, too, my whole family is military. Any civilian is referred to as ma'am or sir...lol.

I didn't run into the Miss Niki thing until we moved to Arkansas. I kind of like it. I know many kids are still taught to address adults as Mr./Mrs. Lastname. Around here, many of them WON'T call an adult by just the first name. It's considered rude.

And "hon." *sigh* I work with a guy that calls all females that. At first, it bothered me. But now, I realize he says it out of habit more than anything. He doesn't mean it to be disrespectful or demeaning. And it is pretty common...from women more than men though.

[devlina2u]

LOL :D Its almost like 50% of you say its respectful and 50% say otherwise :) Yes thats what DH said...he said if you say Ma'am, they feel old but I always thought it was respectful. Dunno if I would be offended if someone called me that.....didnt really come across anyone calling me that ;) :D

[ILoveElf]

I was told when I asked about this a few years ago that ma'am vs. miss can be an age thing or it can also be the difference between married or not.Master is used for young males and mister for older males, but they to have other meaning that can upset some.I tend to use miss if the lady is less than 10 years older than me, but with guys I tend to use mister unless they are very young.

[Pipanella]

I think we Americans are just a tad bit touchy about a lot of things. (Myself included!)

[Trace30]

Dev,

I believe it's a regional thing as to whether "ma'am" indicates insult or respect. In the South, it's standard (we raise our kids this way) to say "Yes, Ma'am" and "No, Ma'am," "Yes, Sir" and "No, sir." However, my understanding is that in more northern states, it's considered an insult and a simple "Yes" or "No" is preferred. (In the North, the use of "Ma'am" is considered being sarcastic, I think.)

Once, when I was in high school, I remember this boy moving from New York (or somewhere nearby). He was asked a question by the teacher and simply responded with a "yes." She was furious....he couldn't figure out what he had done wrong. It took some time, but eventually they figured it out. ;)

[Corganiacs]

Americans!
PTTTTFFFFFfff!