I am SO SICK of how mean kids are to my children in school!

[barbaralarry]

Does anyone else find this irritating or do I have the only nice children left on this Earth?

My son has a 'friend' who is constantly competing with him. When my son said he liked a girl, the boy all of a sudden liked her too. The girl asked my son to be her boyfriend, and has been calling him. We think its cute. They're 4th graders, too young for anything more serious than a phone call or two! The other boy is so insanely jealous, he bothers my son on the bus and playground. He got a group from his class to bug my son at lunchtime when he was sitting by the girl, and teased him. On the bus he tells my son that the girl broke up with him (she didnt). Then he told him today that his whole class thinks my son is stupid and gay. This behavior has been a problem for a very long time, but it is getting so much worse. I think Im putting a call in to the principal tomorrow morning and having him visit with the boy. I havent shared much of this with you in comparison to what this boy has been doing. I mean vicious things!

What do you think? Is this the way most parents expect their kids to behave? Should I teach my son to be equally mean? I told him to go to school tomorrow and tell the the kids that the last time the boy spent the night that the boy wet the bed and cried until his mommy came to get him.

Yep, RIGHT BACK ATCHA!

[verwon]

My son is only 6, in first grade and he has already been going through the stuff with kids being mean and picking on him. It is totally ridiculous. What are parent's teaching their children now days??

[cashhound]

I have noticed my niece using the term "gay" a lot lately. From the context, I don't think she means it in the same sense we perceive it. I think kids are using it to mean different, weird...kind of like we used geek or freak back in the day...lol.

Not that I think calling someone a freak is acceptable...just thought I'd share that thought. It struck me as strange, at first, when I heard my niece using the term that way.

I think a lot of it is that kids aren't forced to respect anyone...parents, teachers, other kids...even themselves. What is the punishment in school? Detention? ISS? Then, when they go back after the kid who got them in trouble, they just get more detention.

<sigh>

[buckeyemomma]

This is exactly why my son is homeschooled now!!

[Mouse7088]

I'll tell ya what..I am about fed up with kids myself. I have tried VERY hard to teach my kids to be kind and to show respect to others. It's a real hard lesson to teach when it seems like they are the only kids being taught this. I have to give some credit to our neighbors down the road. Well, a neighbor-like as you can get in the country..LOL! They have 3 children, 2 girls and one son. Well...this little butthead always acts like an angel, but I have heard so many things about him that I know better. He's 10 years old and was the first person my oldest son made friends with when we moved her almost 5 years ago. That friendship lasted about 3 bus rides. Well, my 8 yro came home last week saying this child kicked him in the private while getting on the bus. I wasn't sure how to do deal with this one...I know his parents well enough to give them a ring, but I also wanted my son to know that this was not something you "let go". Well..later that evening this boy's father came to the door and talked to my hubby. He had found out what happened and said Jimmy at that very moment was writing a note of apology to Logan and he was also going to visit the school tomorrow and have Jimmy give a verbal apology to Logan in front of his teacher and principle, then he was to apologize to the bus driver as well. Jimmy is 2 years older than Logan and is also active in the same Cub Scouts. The father said also for DH to get in touch with him when he had a chore that Logan usually does that Jimmy would do. Now this part we declined..most of Logan's "chores" are to deal with the animals and as much as I wanted to send Jimmy into the pen with the mean Rooster, I changed my mind after hearing Logan say Jimmy's father's eyes were watering up as he stood there listening to his son apologize.
Logan is a very mild tempered child and it's been VERY hard to make him understand the difference between being a bully and defending yourself. Now our youngest, 6 yro..well, we've already heard the stories of Codey taking on the older boys because they were shoving him, as much as I hate knowing he is pushed into doing this, I am more ticked at the fact 3rd. grade children are approaching a kindergarten age child. It just makes me wonder what they are being taught.

[hrdlife1]

OMG, don't even get me started on some of the hoodlums, uh i mean kids in this neighborhood...UGH:{
i teach my children to be respectful of people old and young and not to intentionally hurt anyone...to basically treat people the way they would like to be treated and i have to say, for the most part, they are good kids when it comes to that BUT it is SO HARD trying to defend said principles and values when the rest of the kids around them are tearing up my flowerbeds and my flowerpots i HAD on my porch, going around and smashing pumpkins and leaving them to rot right on the sidewalk, using more foul language than i HAVE ever heard a grown-up use and just being little butt-heads in general!!! i don't even like to let Gavin go play outside when certain kids are out because I KNOW he's gonna end up getting in trouble GRRRRRRRRRRR:{ and half the time, they don't think i'm watching from the window, but i am and i see them, gavin has been kicked in the mouth and when he came in crying THESE KIDS LIED TO MY FACE and said he fell and i said oh nonononnonononono i was watching right out the window and you kicked him in the face ON PURPOSE!!! and then of course the parents aren't any better, in broad daylight with music blaring drinking right on the porch and laughing as their kids are tearin up newspapers all over the front yard, and then of course leaving them there....:{
gavin has one good friend in the neighborhood, kyle, who lives across the yard, both me and kyle's mom (love ya lori;) ) are FED UP with the mess that goes on here!!! when kyle comes over he is always very respectful and uses wonderful manners, seriously it's yes ma'am and no ma'am and thank you, please etc...just the sweetest boy and i LOVE the fact that he is gavin's best friend because they are a good influence on each other...and play so well!!! so i guess it's not ALL parents, but there's alot around here i'd like to give a swift kick you know where oh! it can be just so disgusting sometimes...i can't stand it, it's like why do i even waste my time, i feel like i'm the only one doing it sometimes, ya know?! i see these kids and what they do when they think no grown-ups are watching and it makes me physically ill... and then people want to get upset when their kids get in trouble and i'm like DUH pay attention to what they're doing and you can catch stuff like that!!! the things i've heard come outta this one 5 yr old's mouth that lives 2 doors down, OMG8o if gavin EVER EEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVER even THOUGHT about saying something like that OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH NO not even not in my house nope nope nope!!!:{
oh it just gets to me...sorry...i feel yall's pain, oh ya just don't know, sometimes i wanna take some of these kids in the neighborhood or on his bus and say OH JUST LET [B]ME[/B] BE YOUR MOMMA, just for an hour, i guarantee you won't do half the stuff ya do, and wouldn't EVEN ATTEMPT that mouth!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr:{

barbaralarry, i'm sending you big hugs, trust me, i know how frustrating it can be, i deal with this EVERYDAY, and it's just about to drive me BATTY!!! OHHHHHHHHHH I CAN'T WAIT TIL WE GET A HOUSE!!! i swear if i have to live here one more year they're gonna have to reserve my padded room, i'm not kidding!!
i just wish ppl would really focus on what's important! if you have the children, raise the children, don't keep expecting me or society to do it for you! they are your responsibility, don't you want someone you are responsible for to grow up to be decent respectful human beings??!!! i just don't understand it, hopefully my kids will see right from wrong and keep as much as i try to teach them and not be swayed by the dregs that are out there waiting to feast on them...sooooooo sad, so very sad:(





ok, i'm done and no i'm not EVEN gonna go into the name calling thing, that will just set me off on another rant and that ain't pretty so we don't want that LOL;)

[ihvfaith]

Well I homeschool so my son doesn't have those prob. Sure am glad.

[paulnk]

As someone who was regularly picked on in school, the worst thing you can do is go to the principle or teachers. You need to tell your kid that he does not need to take that, teach him to stand up for himself. I'm not saying beat anyone up, unless of course they get physically violent with him, but he needs to say "You cannot talk to me that way" or, "you cannot talk about me that way" and teach him to say it firmly and mean it. Teach him to fight if he needs to and teach him how to do it.

He needs a strong sense of self and to know that he deserves and is worthy of being treated respectfully. If you step in and talk to the teachers or principle, 1. they are likely to do nothing and 2. if they do do something, he will feel week and powerless, always needing mommy or teacher to stick up for him. He is nice, it is admirable to be kind, but not nice. Nice guys get stepped on and have low self esteem.

[paulnk]

and you should remember that your kid needs to demand respect and he will be respected. He must give them reason to respect him.

[dor]

I have the same think and find disturbing and can't let my kid be mean so I sit every day with my kids and try to explain that its not nice but maybe they don’t know what they are doing. Its hard what more can you say?

[mama2calli]

Does your school have a Zero Bullying Tolerance policy in effect? If not, your PTO/PTA ought to get together to get it in place...

My oldest daughter is now in 5th grade, but last year all the boys (who suddenly became obnoxious overnight, seemingly!!) were calling each other "gay"... I don't think they know exactly what it means, it's becoming more of a common insult... just like the boys I knew back in the early 70's, but the big insults back then were "dork", "douche bag" and that other f-word for gay (f*g). And even back then I'll bet they didn't know what it meant, it just was "cool" for them to be using it.

And from a whole 'nother aspect... a lot of these bullying types are kids with sensory issues (which can result in frustration that manifests itself in anger and bullying) that aren't being addressed by the schools or by their parents. I have a 5 year old (currently in our town's preschool program) who at times is off the charts with his sensory problems... but at least we (his family), the staff & teachers at school and our pedi are doing our best to address these issues so he won't become a bully at a later age, so that he can learn to handle his frustrations and not take them out on other kids/people/etc.

Sigh... :)

[tarilyn]

As a teacher, I have seen lots of bullying. I would not encourage your son acting in the same immature way that the other boy has acted. As hard as it is sometimes, you've got to teach him some self-control, turn the other way, ignore the abuse, and the other person will get tired of trying to annoy him. As long as he knows that he is pushing his buttons, the kid will continue the abuse.
Also, 4th graders really shouldn't concern themselves with having a girlfriend. When did it become cute for girls to call boys at home at 9 years old in a girlfriend/ boyfriend manner? My 4th graders haven't even begun to view life in that manner. Don't let them grow up too quickly.

[amandaroyer2007]

Hey barbaralarry, I know this is an OLDDDDD post but I wanted to hit on something real quick...You said you told your son to tell all the kids at school that the boy that's been picking on him wet the bed and his mommy had to come and get him......


[B]Two wrongs don't make a right[/B]!!

I would probaby just consult the principal and have a meeting w/ the boy, his parents and you and your son! Get everything out on the table and go from there.

Here, In Indiana, the school my son goes to has a strict NO BULLING rule. They each have to sign a form stating they will not allow others to bully someone and will not bully others either. If they are caught it isn't tolerated and they are immediately reprimanded. And no, not just the normal "ISS, or Detention..." But they get days off school for their first bullying offense. Three offenses and they are completely expelled because they are obviously there for the WRONG reasons. It is damaging to kids to be bullied! They also have an anonymous "bully box" where kids can leave notes for school officials (like to principal) about kids that are bullying them, or kids that are being bullied. That way the kid never knows if someone else turned him/her in or if the kid did it themselves.

As a parent of a school aged boy, the last thing I want to hear is him coming home crying because some kid bullied him...I know I came home most of my school days crying because I was a soft hearted, easy target. I have taught my son the difference between bullying and self defense too!

Communication with your kids is important. If you don't ask, they probably won't tell!!!! Unfortunately I have had to learn this the hard way.

Ok ok, I am shutting up now. Have a great day! ~amanda

[danasurvey]

It would be so nice if kids could get along better. I totally agree. I am sick of it too.

[berniceliu888]

Wow, that's so mean. I'm in high school, and I constantly see 'bigger, taller' kids beat up the little short ones. It's pretty sad. But if I was in your shoes, I would tell the principal right away, and the parent of that kid. -.-