I am SO SICK of how mean kids are to my children in school!

[paulnk]

[QUOTE=tarilyn;962308]As a teacher, I have seen lots of bullying. I would not encourage your son acting in the same immature way that the other boy has acted. As hard as it is sometimes, you've got to teach him some self-control, turn the other way, ignore the abuse, and the other person will get tired of trying to annoy him. As long as he knows that he is pushing his buttons, the kid will continue the abuse.
Also, 4th graders really shouldn't concern themselves with having a girlfriend. When did it become cute for girls to call boys at home at 9 years old in a girlfriend/ boyfriend manner? My 4th graders haven't even begun to view life in that manner. Don't let them grow up too quickly.[/QUOTE]

I was beaten up regularly. My parents intervened a little bit but never taught me to defend myself. In fact, teacher and parent intervention only makes the situation worse. The bullies see the kid who's parents intervened as weaker than ever because mommy and daddy had to step in. I didn't develop the self respect I needed so people walked all over my for most of my child and adult life. When parents and teachers intervene, this teaches your kid that he is weak and must defer problem solving to authorities. If a child is being beaten up, that means he has low self esteem and is letting others with low self esteem beat him up. The best thing to do is to teach your kid that he does not have to take it and teach him problem solving skills. If this means he has to hit back harder than they hit him, so be it. Unfortunately, this might result in a suspension or something like that, but at least he will come out of it with more self respect and it may put an end to the bullying; these things are far more important than a school record. We have a violent society. All through life there are bullies. As kids we need to learn how to stand up to them and how to fight back.

[claudiao6]

hi everybody. im new to the board and just wanted to comment on the sub. My son just started 2nd grade and came home and said he did not want to wear his new shoes i bought him for school.(skate shoes Heeleys or whatever u call them) He loves those shoes and couldnt wait to wear them. He said the kids in his class call him stupit and this shoes are ugly and make funof him. I told not to listen to them becuz kids are sometimes angry when they want somthing too.I told him to keep wearing them and ignore them. It made me mad when i first heard that. I wanted to call the teacher. but I just gave him hopefully good advice and hope to let this blow over. Now a days kids are not like when we were kids. they are more cruel and outspoken. I think u as a parent need to arm your kids with knowledge to deal with th situation on there own. Im learning to as i go.:o

[chocobo10]

I was picked on like this when I was a kid. Finally I just asked the kids if they would stop and surprisingly it worked.

[paulnk]

[QUOTE=claudiao6;963323]hi everybody. im new to the board and just wanted to comment on the sub. My son just started 2nd grade and came home and said he did not want to wear his new shoes i bought him for school.(skate shoes Heeleys or whatever u call them) He loves those shoes and couldnt wait to wear them. He said the kids in his class call him stupit and this shoes are ugly and make funof him. I told not to listen to them becuz kids are sometimes angry when they want somthing too.I told him to keep wearing them and ignore them. It made me mad when i first heard that. I wanted to call the teacher. but I just gave him hopefully good advice and hope to let this blow over. Now a days kids are not like when we were kids. they are more cruel and outspoken. I think u as a parent need to arm your kids with knowledge to deal with th situation on there own. Im learning to as i go.:o[/QUOTE]

What do you mean kids aren't like they were when we were kids? You must have had it easy. Kids have always been mean and cruel. I was spat on, kicked, punched, ridiculed (by teachers AND students), and no one did anything about it, including me. When was this? The worst of it was from 1982 - 1987. I would imagine you are about my age. Kids these days are no worse than they ever were.

Does this come as any surprise? We live in a violent culture that supports violent problem solving. We are taught to squash competition, our parents use and used psychological violence and often physical violence to control us (guilt, manipulation, spankings). Our nation solves problems through violence and violence is on TV in cartoons and in live action. When adults stop using violence, then maybe our children will.