THIS IS JUST WRONG!!!!!

[Juliannaluv]

My oldest sister, Barb, had a b-day party for her youngest son (he turned 9). This was a "friend" party, not a family one, but my 2 boys were invited and my sister, Michelle's daughter was invited too because the kids are all really close. Well, Michelle showed up with her daughter and stayed! She ate part of the lunch that was prepared for the kids and then went to sleep on Barb's cuch for 3 hours while Barb hosted the party. THEN, it comes time for gifts and Michelle says to the birthday boy....."We didn't bring you a birthday present because we give you 2 Christmas presents"

HELLO.......you can't go to a 9-year old little boy's birthday party, eat all the food and then not bring a gift! How would her daughter feel if we all showed up for her party and just said "oh, we didn't bring you a present because......"

How do you tell your sister that you are tired of her constantly using the family, especially Mom & Dad???
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[freesurfer]

YOu are kidding me!! That is awful!!! I'd tell her exactly how you just said it.....enough is enough!!!!!
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[cujo0123]

Just tell her! Be straightforward about it!
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[Juliannaluv]

I wish I were kidding. She just "pulled one" on me on Fathers day weekend too. All 4 of us girls and our spouses (except hers because she left him) got together and painted mom & dad's house for them. Our parents bought meat for lunch & dinner, and then each of our families brought something to go with the meals. She and I decided to go together and get all the bread, buns, condiments, fresh fruit, and chips. All together I figured it'd cost around $40.00. So, she told me to go ahead and go to the store and buy the stuff and she'd write me a check for half. Sure, when I get home and ask her for money she tells me she has none. If she had written a check it would have bounced (and it would not be the first time). I still haven't collected. She left her husband ans is living with my parents....rent free...and to not buy a birthday gift for her nephew???. She makes enough money that she can afford to pay me the $20 she owes me AND buy a birthday present for this kid.

Sorry guys for laying this on you all. I guess I just needed to vent a bit:(
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[mayfly]

That is terrible! How could she do that to a 9 year old boy! At that age you can buy them a super sized candy bar for a gift, they think that is cool.

I am so sorry!
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[Mouse7088]

Oh goodness...I really don't see how you can NOT say [i]something[/i]...I know we don't know what all goes on, but I think the subject needs to be at least approached. I can't help, but feel so badly for your parents. Your poor nephew, if we all think this stinks I can't imagine what he was feeling. Kids are so forgiving tho. Hopefully your sister doesn't take advantage of that, one day he may not be.
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[cashhound]

Sounds like it's time for a good ol' sibling butt kicking....grrrrr. (Figuratively, of course ;) )

You HAVE to say something to her. I don't see how you've refrained. I'm sure you have said some things here and there, but THIS stunt crosses the line. Taking advantage of your parents...well...they're grown. They are LETTING her do this.

But to do that to a 9y/o....way crossing the line.
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[3tbear]

Does she just not have the money to spare for a gift? It doesn't take alot of money to make a child happy on his birthday. What was she thinking? It's the thought that counts here. I'd say something to her about it. Giving 2 gifts at X'mas does not change the fact she did not give him any birthday gift. A kid only turns 9 once in his life. You just don't go to someone's house, especially a child's birthday party without a gift.
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I'm sure I couldn't bite my tongue on this one. I have heard many sibling stories, but you have a 'gem' in this one. Your parents, for sure, should give her her walking papers, and I wouldn't hold back a bit on how I feel. She can take it or leave it! It might do her good.
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[Juliannaluv]

Thanks, Guys, for your input. I am just not sure how to address this with her without creating a huge family argument! I hate to put my parents in that situation. I can understand why my parents allowed her to stay for a while. She needed to get out of the situation she was in immediately! But, she's a big girl, 34 years old, you'd think she could figure out a way to make it in a place of her own! She makes decent money and only has a couple bills to pay (groceries, gas, car insurance, phone & daycare) My poor parents have all but carried this chick through her life and it's about time she got dropped off the end of a dock to either sink or swim!!!

I am going to make an attempt to talk to her this weekend, but I am also fully aware that it is difficult to reason with an unreasonable person

UGGGHHHHH!!!!! 8\

WISH ME LUCK!
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[thundathighs]

thundathighs i would do the same, be straightforward with her and tell to stop mooching off the family