Well I have the same problem with my 4yr old he will be 5 in Feb. so the terrible 2's seem to last for me.
My mother will tell anyone my sister and I were the most well behaved children she ever seen which thinking back I do remeber it must be true I never remember stepping out of line once or back talking or nothing....My mom was not abusive at all . I remember only 2 spankings in my whole life.... She tells me know when I asked her how she got us to mind she goes back to my favorite saying shes always said to us "God never gives you more than you can handle" and he knew I could not handle no bad kids LOLLOL (But we did get older LOLOL)
But I must say my 2 kids have made up for that ....my 4yr old is really bad ohhhhh god sometimes I cry then I think "Ok what does he like best" ahhhh his scooter so I take that away .....it does work then as a day goes by he loses something else like his most favorite prized Hot wheels car.... After a couple days of taking away things he loves the most I get a few days of a well behaved child then >>>>> Its all over again
My mom only tells me in these same words "You girls were angels until you became teenagers so i dont wanna hear you cry now" your kids are only giving you back what you all did me as teens LOLLOL
Scruffers it will get better I promise
20yrs from now we will all sit back and beg to have those little ones back
That is if we survive this period of their life LOLLOL