Hi ,
I am asking help of others or advice. My boyfriend had lost his wife Feb 2006 we started dating shortly after. He is 51and I am 43. We are having so much fun traveling and enjoying eachother and life.They where married for 10 years together for 30. She died of breast cancer. They have lived in seperate rooms for 5 years. Now the kicker. I have kids as he. All older the last are 17 girls. We only stay together when we travel. So he asks me to stay at his house but I am allergic to his cat. Plus I cannot get over the ackwardness of his family pics that are up when you come in . Him and her . Her candle on the tv. The goodbye letter on the livingroom table from a friend, There wedding pic. He finally removed some of the clothes from the closet. I know it is hard but I feel weird being there with reminders of her everwhere. I often here from him how they never did anything how life was miserable with there son that he kicked out after her death. He has no relationship with his deceased wifes family. I still cannot come to the fact that he cannot move past his past . He said he leaves them up for the kids. His daughter is 17 and son 20. I do know that it takes everyone different times to grieve and move on. I am ready to move on with him . We discussed in a few years selling the homes and building a new one. Am I wrong to feel emotional or should I ignore all the history and go on with her everywhere I turn.???? Also she was a smoker so the house has that stale cigarette smell. He also lets his friends smoke in his house he is a non smoker. They do not smoke in there own homes. But he said since she smoked they always felt comfortable to do so in his. She no longer is there . So should they continue to smoke in a non smoker house when they do not smoke in there own homes? I feel this is rude and disrepectful.
Help.
Lost and confused.
