I wish you both the best of luck in this. I feel for your husband, I too am a step-parent with know children of my own. We will probably never have any together, he can't . Anyway I've raised my stepdaughter for 9 yrs, she has always wanted me to adopt her but no way was her mother going for that. But I would lay down and die for this child whom I call my daughter. She is nineteen and and fixin to have her own child. I feel like she is mine and I feel eve more connected to my future grandbaby. I learned a very valuable lesson this weekend when my daughters real mother came to visit. Jamie (DD) told her she could be in her life as a friend but never a mother because she has a MOM her name is Cheryl ( that's me
) . These children realize who is there for them and who has loved and cared for them , So if your ex never signs the papers because in the end it doesn't matter if they share your last name or even blood , our "children " know who raised them and they know who there "real" parents are. Your children know your husband loves them very much and what he has done for them . I'm pulling for ya'll that ever thing turns out the way you would like. Your husband must be a very special man , I know alot of stepdads who wouldn't even think about doing this kind of thing.